Tag Archives: Random

Things I do not get

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  • My sons sitting in different loos and texting each other!  There was a time in life when I had to bash the shit out of them to sit and write their homework – or even read.  Now they text while pooping.  Sigh!  I just dont get it …………
  • Kate Moss’s statement – “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels”.  I have a list here comprising of a) chocolate b) cheese fondue c) brownies d) beer e) cheese and macaroni f) aloo parantha g) choley bhature h) fried chicken … and I did not even have to strain my head.  Sigh!  I just dont get it ………….
  • Me sitting in my room and watching Croak On Rock On, and Kid#1 comes and shuts my door as there is too much noise, and then puts on ear blasting metal on the stereo in the living room.  I have to go there and yell thrice politely ask him to tune it down.  Sigh, I just dont get it……….
  • Bankers rejecting loan applicants because they dont have money.  Dudes, if they had money, they would not have been asking for a loan Duh!!  I just dont get it ………………….
  • My secret fear when I go past security gates or those scanner thingies at malls and movie halls.  I never steal, have no intention of bombing myself into oblivion along with a movie hall – no movie however bad deserves that.  Maybe I was a thief in my previous life.  I just dont get it ……………….

  • TWILIGHT BARBIES?!!!!!!!

Sigh!!!!   I just dont get it …………..

Such a tame New Year celebration : Groan

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We are not what can be called a normal family …. no that did not come out right!

Let me put it in a better way : – what is normal for us is not normal for a whole lot of people.  What is normal for a whole lot of people is either hypocrisy to us … or downright boring to us.

For new years, like everyone else I got a whole lot of calls from 31st morning onwards – not to mention – an deluge of messages on my cellphone.  Since all I normally get as sms are reminders to feed the bank so that my EMI’s reach the financial Gods in time – I ignore them …

Guess what – people actually did message me to wish me a Happy New Year.  I am so chuffed up heh!

Kid#1 rang me up at 10 a.m. and wished me and then said he was fed up of Christmas and New Year festivities and was gonna go underground while this madness was afoot!  My current mental state being actually hostile to human civilization, I could quite empathize with him.  Wanted to tell him to point me to an underground bunker near by where I could crawl into.

Ex rang up to wish me Happy New Year.  He was going to a Reverse James Bond Party, where he was supposed to be dressed up like a femme fatale and his wife as 007.  God is very merciful – I did not have to witness this one!  :mrgreen:
:D

Kid#2 was footloose.  He has a 21st century relationship – on and off.  At present having been dumped by his on sometimes off sometimes girl friend was single so he decided to go to a party at 2 a.m. after bringing in the New Year with us.

DIL is actively against going out to celebrate New Year.  She would like to be with family (I pause here so that all of you can say Awww so sweet!).  In my bitchy avataar let me point out that if her husband was here, they would have been out partying.

So we started our New Year binge at 10 p.m.  No fancy cooking.  Just got food from some Italian joint and sweets from Open Oven, lots of alcohol to wet the food pipe and settled around the heater.

What can I say ….

Being rather occaisional drinkers (pshaw!) both DIL and I were out for the count by 11.30.  Kid#2 woke us up at 12 and wished us while we went into our rooms and crashed.

Really tame.  I am quite ashamed of myself.  By 2010 end, I need to elope with someone of half my age with four times as much money ….

That would start 2011 with a bang!

Some faltu ka melodrama

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You know the classic melodramatic dialogue one came upon in our Hindi cinema …. during the sixties and seventies

Hai Rabba/Hey Prabhu (pause for effect) isko dekhne se pehley meri aankehn band kyon nahin huien

Or the other alternative

Hey Ram, mujhey is ko dekhne se pehley kyun nahin utha liya

Here is a list of things that would make me say that

1. Amitabh Bacchan as Genie in Aladin

Why dudes, why???  The fake beard is horrible!   I love to believe in myths and this movie seriously makes it difficult to.  It is such a conviction-less, horrible insipid movie.  Abhi toh summer vacation bhi nahin hai …….

2. Rakhi Sawant in any avataar

I dont care if its her swayamvar or she is baby sitting some cranky little tyke.  This female is toxic, and I dont wanna see her.  Did you see the sleazy photos verging on soft porn of her’s (of course she will say look alike) doing the rounds?

3. Yet another tirade by Behn Mayawati

Not interested, dont care …. Next please

4. Yet another interview of Lalooji

Get someone else, dudes.  Even India TV is showing some innovativeness now.  The lines are old and so is the guy now …..

5. Another doomsday prediction about 2012

We’ll die when we have to, or when the dharti maata splits into two and takes us into her bosom.  Why freak un-necessarily?  While on the topic, will someone loan me a crore or two, to be returned in 2014 if the earth is still spinning on its axis :P

6. Yet another swine flu statistics

They’ve started boring me to death – without even giving me the swine flu

7. Another Munna Bhai kind of act by Sunjay Dutt

Enough already.  It was a hit, we enjoyed it …. Now you dont look hunky but chunky.  Lets give it a rest for a while shall we?

8. Another young skinny boy wearing his jeans low

Dont wanna see butt cracks.  Never wanted to and thankfully the fashion has come and gone.  Update your skinny pimply self please

9.  Priety Zinta playing item girl

Seriously lady, this is not happening!  Dont tell me you’re out of work!

10. Yet another lame ass colleague telling me how sasta things were about five years ago

I know, I know.  It pinches me too.  Dont rub it in please.  Ask boss to give us all a raise.  Do something about it.  You’ll be doing all of us a favor and will go to heaven instead of dharti mata ki godh mein in 2012

11. And lastly people who bitch about young people these days … you know the standard “Kya Zamana Aa Gaya Hai”

If I hear one more word about it, Gosh, I’m coming to your side of the town/road/parking lot ….. in my car, and I’m an awful driver, so be warned!  Times have to change and the change in youth morals is the life blood of all gossip sessions.  Agar yeh log kartab nahin karengey, where will we get our entertainment from?