The Great Indian Joint Family

Once upon a time, not so long ago, there was a smart, attractive professional lady.  Her marriage was arranged to one smart attractive professional gentleman.  Together they built their marriage under the huge umbrella of the Great Indian Joint Family.

The first few years were heaven.  They both worked together, went on vacation all over the world, their home had all the amenities that are deemed necessary in the modern day life style.  Then slowly everything began to change.  The lady had more qualifications than the gentleman.  Her annual income was slightly more than that of her husband.  The modern professional gentleman could not take it any more.  So the torture started.  Small things, publically belittling his wife in company, flirting with other women in full view of his wife, making day to day life difficult for her, tantrums if she was late from work …… all that which finally led to her giving up her job.

She got depressed, stopped reading, stopped looking after herself.  She wandered around in that huge house a shadow of her former self.  Other members of the family noticed the change but wondered if they should interfere or not.

This state of affairs would have continued for ever …… the lady sacrificing herself for the sanctity of her marriage, the man a victim of his own ego.  But another lady stepped in.  The Saas.

Her mother in law was not highly qualified, had barely studied upto Class VIII.  She enquired into the reasons for this change in her Bahu.  She even got lawyers home.  She bullied her son to take an appointment with a marriage counsellor.  Threatened to get a divorce for her daughter in law.  It was an uphill task that lasted three stormy years.

It all ended today.

The Bahu has joined World Bank at a very senior position.

Her husband has not made any objections.

The mother in law is quietly triumphant.

She said in her unassuming practical way “Anyaya vekhan vaala anyaya karan vale to vadda paap karda hai”

(The witness of oppression is a greater sinner than the oppressor)

Thank you Madam – you have added to my unshakeable belief in the power of a mother

Nee kee haal chaal hai tera?

Telephone Calls one wishes one never recieved …………………..

 

She : Nee kee haal chaal hai tera?

Me : I am okay Aunty

She : I heard you had an operation?

Me : Yes Aunty, but Rabbji has been kind to me.  I am recovering now.

She : Your poor parents would have been so worried.  Ek taan akeli, uton koi vadda vi nahin sir teh ……..

Me : (WTF????, my parents arent here to get worried, good for them……..)  Aunty my sons are there and they are looking after me.

She : A daughter would have done lots of sewa. Deep theatrical sigh  Daughter in laws are after all ….. you know how it is …………………. Nuh raani ton changi sewa karvana

Editor’s note : I seem to remember that this woman congratulated me for birthing two sons, and implied that if I had a daughter I would never have broken ties with ex.

Me : ?????????????

She : Give DIL the phone.  I will advise her on how to look after you properly

Me : Aunty, she is gone to work

She : How could you allow her to do that?  You mean you are alone at home? Who is looking after you?

Me : Aunty, I was advised bed-rest, not her.  Besides Kid#1 is at home today, and so is the live-in servant.

She : Deep theatrical sigh : Kee zamaana aa gaya hai.  I also went through this surgery, and both my daughter in laws were told to stay at home and look after me – for three whole months.  I tell you, your son is a total joru ka gulam.  Put your foot down immediately.

Yeah, yeah, I remember the endless bitching those poor women did, and the fights and sarcastic comments.

Me : Extra sweetly: Aunty, I have been advised bed-rest.  I cant put my foot down any where

She : There is no one to drive me to your place beta, other wise I would have come and stayed with you for some time and nursed you, Rabbji di saun

Me : I hope I hid my relief :  That is so sweet of you Aunty, but like you said, Kee zamaana aa gaya hai … sewa karwan waali kismat hi kithey meri …… sigh …………     ;)

She : I will ask (her DIL#3) to bring me to your place on Sunday

Me : Hastily : I will be back in the hospital for some tests on Saturday and Sunday

Note to self : Ring up her DILs – all of them and ask them to keep her home

Phew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Some women!!!!!!