How far would you go???

I’d go pretty far!

Piper and the banana bean bag

We are a doggie family.  We have one female German Shephard, who looks ferocious (yeah she is a fake) and behaves like a harmless infant always wanting to cuddle into you.  Even I get intimidated by her size.  She is freakingly huge and jumps on to the bed and takes 3/4ths of it.  In my current condition when I’d rather not be pushed and jostled, its scary.

We have one dacshund, who thinks that he is a wolf.  He barks and growls at every one he doesnt like.  If he does not get his way, he even scolds me.  In his mind, he thinks he is huge and will pick up a fight with dogs four times his size.

With these two in residence, you should think that they would take care of the security issues, right?  WRONG!!!  Our German Shephard would love to be friends with the entire human race.  Our dacshund barks and growls alright, but no one takes him seriously – not even us.  Not even the rats.

That brings us to the problem at hand.

I was sitting in bed with both the dogs lying on the rug next to me.  A huge rat scurried on the floor, probably smelt the dogs, and turned tail and scurried out.  I looked at the dratted dogs.  None of them raised a teensy weensy growl.

Our live in Nepali servant got into the act and tried to kill the rat ……… who bit him while dying.

The boys have taken the servant to the doctor for a tetanus shot and a dressing.

The dogs are still snoozing.

Humph!  I think I’ll re-name them as dog-like-decoration-pieces.

Why do these things happen to me?

What I want is an Iphone …… but on my pay packet all I can afford is this

Our fishy addition

I have certain issues with creatures that pee and shit in their own living room …… but the boys assure me that they are good feng shui, so I sulkily shelled out graciously agreed to buy them

I’ve written a whole lot about Kid#1 and his little wife my DIL but have relatively kept Kid#2 out of blogosphere uptil now. There was a reason for that – he is sneaky and gets everywhere. I mean e v e r y w h e r e.  I can not feel safe and I am sure he will “stumble upon” my blog or may be he has.

As parents to growing up children you can sympathise with me on this one. Every one knows that once kids are born, ME time goes. Kid#1 cottoned on very early to the fact that when Mom went to the loo, one did not barge in, unless one wanted to be confronted by a raging demented female desperately trying to hold on to her bladder and the tatters of her privacy and dignity. Kid#2 refused to understand that simple fact. Even when I made this poster and hung it on the door of the loo

Toilet… the Final Frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its life time mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before………… ALONE!!!!

Yeah I tried. It was a long long time before it worked. Finally he decided that he had had his fun out of baiting me and he gave up. Sigh!! The loo thingy is back again with different faces. I wake up in the morning and have to go, and it’s a parade. The dogs somehow realize that I am going to go and race in before I get to the throne, and are eagerly waiting for me to sit. I don’t get it. Why? What do boys and dogs get out of seeing their mother in the bathroom?

When I was toilet training Kid#2, I would applaud when he would get it right – he had gone potty on the potty. Yayyyyy. It backfired pretty badly on me. There was a KFC for a short while in New Friends Colony. I went there once and never again, because my Kid#2 applauded me for going su on the potty. It was early – about 11.30 in the morning and there was hardly any customer, so the place was quiet and that high pitched voice of my infant OMG! Needless to say the staff was in splits! Put me off Kentucky Fried Chicken forever.

I think I will have to be about 70 before I get my “Me” time in the loo. May be – or may be there will be a nurse with a bed pan applauding me for going su on the bed pan!!! Gaah!!

Something has totally happened to me. I distinctly remember a few years ago that I would recoil at the mere mention of buying and owning a home for myself. I thought that once you owned one of these things, you really could not have a life. Every thing you earned went into repairs, renovations, furniture, broken plumbing, and paint jobs. My god, the commitment!. Any way, owning a house was what stodgy regular staid sane people did. I could not be tied down. That was then and this is now …

Well, I took a plunge and did the unthinkable (it must have been right when I was zoned out and thinking about what kind of legacy I would leave the kids … hmmm … too much marijuana in my smokes, what?) Needless to say I took the plunge and got myself a home in the rural pastures wonderful suburbia. It is spacious, away from the urban mess, but most importantly, it is a rite of passage into growing roots. I am one of the crazy people who can work for the same company for the last twenty years and live in the same town for the last 30 and still think of myself as a free bird who could pack and move out if things became unpleasant. Now I don’t have that option. I have committed the next 10 years of my life to living in this town and also to working my tail off to pay the loan. Now I will be thinking in terms of growing curry patta, tulsi and nimbu in my pocket kerchief garden. Hello domesticity ….

The point is that I have this image of myself as the global gypsy …. Wandering from place to place, free …. Unencumbered by baggage or kids. Me with a backyard and plants??? Oh wow!!! Funny how age changes a person ……