Adventure at Fifty Plus

My timing sucks!  That I have known for a long long time.  I married and became a mother when girls my age were dating, studying and building a career.  That is another matter that I did all that too … after getting married and having Kid#1.

As you grow older, you stop having adventures.  May be it is because you get wiser and stop trying to break walls, and burn bridges.  At a certain age adventure means eating butter chicken and butter naan for dinner and (wonders of wonders) having a good night’s sleep!!!  Or that you sat in a car that your younger son was driving without wearing a seat belt and did not back seat drive.

Well, apparently Godji has a wicked wicked sense of humor when it comes to me.  Yesterday I had a grand adventure.  I was in office having a routine Monday.  During the course of the day, I went chasing a file.  My cabin is on the first floor and I took the lift to the ground floor.  The damn lift got stuck.

I suffer from claustrophobia and vertigo …. and my son is a pilot.  Godji and his weird sense of humor!

Well, to say I freaked would be an understatement.  The admin housekeeper prized the lift door open at the first floor and dangled an arm in, thinking he could pull me up.  Hellooo!  I am a plus sized Punjaban.  The only thing he could have pulled up was my arm from its socket!  Naturally I screamed expletives I refused as politely as I could under the circumstances.

Somehow they activated the emergency mechanism and the lift went to the ground floor.  I tumbled out, sat on the sofa in the reception and drank gallons of water.  Then I hauled me up and walked up the stairs to my cabin.

On the way I saw the housekeeper and his minions tying ropes to a cane armchair which they were planning to lower into the lift to airlift me.  G.R.O.A.N.  !!!!

I gave up any semblance of doing work and came home.

Once home, I told my first born, the tender fruit of my womb, the boy I birthed and nurtured, even breastfed, the horrors that had befallen me.

Well, he laughed until tears fell.

Kid#1  (on his mobile to Kid#2) : Oye come downstairs, Mom is home, you gotta hear her story!

Kid#2 : Down in my room in a jiffy : Tell tell!!

So I repeated my sorry tale to the apple of my eye, my baby …

Kid#2 : ROFL, was the rope strong enough, did you check?  And who would haul you?  They’d need some pehelwaans.

Me : Go away guys, I better sleep this off!

Both : Bet she will start taking the stairs, after all its only one floor!

Humph!

Khadda Bakheda Ho Gayo

I learnt this new phrase today!  My driver hails from Haryana or as they pronounce it Hari-yana.  He normally has cds of Aarati and Mahamrityunjaya playing in the morning when he ferries me to work.  I think he deems them suitable for females my age.

Today he had a rather naughty cd of Haryanavi songs playing.  I found them better than Om Jay Jagdish etc.  I know, I have bad Godless taste!  But the songs were too much!  You had one musical one about a youth lusting over his Chachi and serenading her with evil intent declared.  You had one about a saali trying to woo her Jija, and the Jija rejecting her and advising her to cool down.  The Jija exasperated sings in chorus …….. 

KHADDA BAKHEDA HO GAYO!!!!!

Must say I have started my day with a bang

 

On popular demand, I am attempting to translate the phrase :

Khada = Standing

Bakheda = Problem

Ho Gayo = Happened

So it would mean that a problem has arisen …..

Dammit the punch is missing!!!!  Lost in Translation I think