Tag Archives: Mother’s Day

Being a single mom … Mother’s Day

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I have been a single Mom since Kid#2 was 2 years old, and Kid#1 was 10 ……

Sorry to burst your bubble! This is not a Main Bechari post, because its been great! It has dawned upon me bit by bit that the only essential thing one has to have to play any role in life is one’s own self. The rest is …. peripherals I guess. When I realized that I would be single Mom, I literally quaked in my shoes! My generation was brought up on the image of Durga Khote dressed in white toiling endlessly on a sewing machine, or Rakhee telling her tormentors “Mere Karan Arjun ayengey, zaroor ayengey!” In truth, the scenario is different. My sons would actually say “Stop or My Mom will Shoot!”

The lessons learnt in life have been plenty, and I am blessed with excellent hindsight, totally 6/6

1. You need to be financially solvent. Yes, the ability to pay your bills is a big blessing, it shuts up the doomsday kind of well-wishers and also keeps critics at bay. Plus it gives you a sense of power that gets the kids in line too (this is a big blessing!)

2. You need to be emotionally solvent. As a mother, I realized that I could not love and nurture them unless I felt happy with myself. For that I needed to stop blaming others. I needed to know what I am, a flawed human being, and needed to be friends with myself. Only then could I parent my kids. It is at this point that the biggest love story of my life began! I discovered I loved me and so I could love others too.

3. You need to be “in” on your kids lives. Yeah, that means, use their language, try and make sense out of their rock music (even if it threatens to dislodge your dental fillings) and play basket ball with them even if your knees get tortured, and be friends with their friends. I did that, and what do you know, I even lost some minuscule amount of weight. Having youthful friends made me feel young myself!

4. You need to have a life of your own. This is a “gyan” that dawned on me slowly. I went overboard being with the boys and forgot to live my own life for a bit. Luckily I realized before they kicked me out of their lives. I have my life now, my friends, the net, and I have them too. Pretty good eh?

5. You gotta realize that The Buck Stops Here. Face it, you are the parent, and there is no one you can fall back on, for discipline or for financial help. I always wanted that sigh! To wave a menacing finger at the buggers and say “Just wait until Daddy gets home”, but I guess I managed pretty well eh?

6. Dont take yourself and your parenting skills seriously. Remember you are just doing the best you can with all sincerity and one day these *&^%$# are going to turn around and tell you pompously that you are a bad parent. Just smile and promise yourself that you will spoil their kids silly and turn them into insufferable horrors. It is the best you can do!

Being a single mother is eventful and demanding. It is rewarding too. Your kids may not thank you, but they can not take away the pleasure and pride you feel at seeing them stand tall and oh so grown up, interact intelligently and be independent.

As for gratitude????

It is past one in the afternoon. The ba*&^ds have not even wished me a Happy Mother’s Day as yet, forget about getting me some measly flowers!

Edited to add : They came to my office (yes I was working today even tho its a Sunday) with a chocolate cake!!! Aint that lovely?

Happy Mother’s Day

It is a Mom’s World

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Yes it is! I am absolutely proud to belong to a country where a natural messy function like reproducing the species is deified and immortalized by movie dialogues like “Mere Paas Maa Hai” and a movie becomes a runaway hit because “Its all about loving your parents”. Yes sirs and madams, I am proud to be a Mom, not only to my boys and daugher in law, but also to the various friends they have brought home and also our three dogs ( I call ‘em fur babies). I was barely out of my adolescence (my kids beg to differ here, they still think I am one Humph!) when I had my first baby. I have never regretted it. Mad Momma tagged me with the Around the World in 80 clicks tag and it got me wondering.  What do I love about motherhood?

I am going to cheat here.  I totally agree with Mad Momma.  Five reasons is way too insufficient.  Being a mother means that you are practical, have no nakhras and are definitely not namby pamby and too full of bullshit.  Kids, bless their irreverent messy souls, ensure that.  If I get too big-headed, mine would laugh their guts out and bring me down with a thud!  For that matter, so would Michelle Obama’s delightful daughters.  It is in their job profile, “Bring your parents down a peg or two, so what if he/she is President of USA or the Shah of Bahrain”

And of course you have a working relationship with snot, puke, dribble, spilled meals, poop and other things that would gross a non-parent out.

1. I love the fact that  I will always have these two wonderful boys to call my own, no one can take it away from me.  They are mine.  Thanks to them, I have this whole youthful family of friends, their’s, my daughter-in-law’s family to call my own. 

2.  I love the fact that I can never be alone.  I come home to this warm home.  Ring a doorbell and the dogs come running down.  When they were younger, the boys would pounce on me the moment I parked the car with

“Mommmmmm! Today abhi this happened and that happened! ”

“Mommmm dont listen to him, listen to me first!”

Now, they make the effort to surprise me with a wonderfully cooked dinner.

3. I love the way the role reversal has happened.  I once held on to the bicycle firmly while they pushed the paddle with their tiny slippered feet, and now they grumble about my lousy parking skills and park the car for me.  They are so confident and adept at it.

4. I love the way they can ring up my cellphone at 1 a.m. in the night and scold me for being up.  “Aap ko pata nahin hai, you got to go to work tommorow?  Go to sleep now or I’ll confiscate your lap top”.  Funny! Once upon a time, I had hidden their Play Station leads for the very same reason.

5. The best thing about motherhood is total satisfaction that you have done this most important job well.   I know there are folks that would disagree with me and tell me I spoiled them totally.  But the kids are healthy, clean, intelligent and responsible and have no major vices.  I look at them with love and pride.  Their wit stuns me, their laughter and intelligence floors me, I respect them for their sense of duty and responsiblity and their concern for me warms my heart up. 

And above all, I did not make them or give them birth  ……

They made me what I am …….

THEIR MOM 

I am truly blessed to be their mother and enriched by becoming a Mom

Motherhood

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Are you a parent who keeps pictures of their children in her wallet?

Do you have a wall in the bedroom full of photos of your kids in different stages of their lives?

Does the office table/wall paper of your computer have your kids’ photo?

I know mine has ….

I also have a recording of their infant voices that I play often while driving to work – much to their embarrassment! They are in their twenties now, so their embarrassment is totally justified.

Moreover, my unwary co-passengers can go bug eyed when they hear babble-speak without adequate warning!

Our children are joys, they are terrors, they are challenges … and they totally enrich our lives.

Read the rest here

Mothers Day Contest

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impressions

IndusLadies has a wonderful competition announced for the upcoming mother’s day.  It gives us all mommies the opportunity to do what we love to do best, talk about our parenting experiences and also our babies.  What’s more, the winner gets a cash prize 

 
Are you aware of IndusLadies ? The site was founded with the objective of providing an authentic platform for Indian women (and well-meaning men) from around the world to discuss various things of interest to them. It is a moderated platform that provides a high level of interaction between Indians (I like to think of it as South East Asians), and all are welcome to participate in this blogging contest.
You might wonder what you get from participating.  Well, one person gets the prize of course.  All the others get an exposure to IL’s audience (last estimated at 400,000 unique visitors a month!) I think apart from Big B’s blog, no individual blog has that kind of traffic.
So …..
ONWARD HO!!!!
Fire away the computers, limber up, stretch them typing muscles, eat some brain food and come up with a wonderful blog post on parenting.  Post it on your blog and link it to www.indusladies.com.  Then go to indusladies and post your link  here
The Prizes
The winner gets $200
The 2nd place gets $100
The 3rd place gets $50
And the top ten get cool t-shirts and caps from Indusladies.

The first 25 entries get cool letter holders from Indusladies, being one of the “jaldi 25″ has its uses!

Entries
During the period from 6th April 2009 to 20th April 2009, contestants must post an entry on their blog, and on IndusLadies Entries should be not more than 1200 words, and can have captioned photos.  The entries can be mushy, emotional, tragic, corny, funny, slapstick.  The contest entry should have a link to IndusLadies
How do you win?
Simple!  IndusLadies is looking for traffic.  You submit your entry and then drive traffic to IndusLadies to vote for you.  People from all around the world can visit and vote.  The entry with the maximum votes will win. 

DEADLINES:
Entries must be posted by midnight 26th April 2009
Votes will be open from 27st April 2009 to 07th May 2009
Top ten blog posts will be announced on 8th May 2009 and then they are open for voting
Winners will be announced on 15th May 2009

Eligibility: To enter this contest you must be a blogger from South East Asia and a parent.

Links :

Indusladies on Twitter

Induslady on Facebook