Tag Archives: Kid#2

Update and Thanks

Posted on by
57

This is the first post I am doing after my sons met with an accident that could have been nasty. I or rather “We” are overwhelmed by the outpouring of concern from the blog world. Thanks a lot people for all the love and concern …. I have told the boys they did not earn it and should consider themselves blessed to have it.

Now we are okay …. and I would like to share with you some of the craziness that happened …… you can’t visit The Phoenix and leave without a smile can you?

4 a.m. on the day of the accident …..

Kid#1 (Bursting into the room shivering) Mom there has been a slight accident

Me (Being a typical Mother India) Show me Kid#2, I wont believe you until I see Kid#2

Kid#2 comes in with reinforcements … friends that had been called to the accident site for help. Kid#2 is looking white as sheet, friend is talking 19 to a dozen explaining how the car just got a minor scratch as it grazed a tree.

I let it pass ….

Other friends troop in – and suspicion builds – I mean these are late teen and twenty something men – who love to sleep at early hours. However I get into the tea and breakfast routine with ears tuned to the conversation.

Kid#1 to Kid#2 : Dude !!!!! I’ll talk to you later

Me: Why aren’t you drinking your tea. Why are you trembling

Kid#1 : Ma he walked out of the car, peed on the roadside and came back and passed out!

Kid#2 : Bhai you were driving the car, I was not!

Kid#1 : Blank stare, drops tea cup since he is all shook up!

Friend 1 : Aunty, the doctor says he is fine – see here is the CT & MR reports …

Friend 2 walks in half an hour later – they have a hushed conference and then they tell me that the cops have impounded the car. I start getting the feeling that a lot will be spilt later …

(Enter Pink Panther Music)

The next day we get the car home and I go ballistic …. for the whole week. The car is a wreck, and his phone is lost. (It was in the car). The TV in his room is confiscated. His lap top was giving problems so I took it away and sent it for repairs. I have yet to decide whether to give it back to him.

Yesterday the doctor said they are both fine. So I read Kid#2 the riot act!

Kid#2 : Ma I am sorry but I dont remember

Me : Humph! Of course you dont! It is not in your interest to remember!

Then I decide to play the Main Bechari act!

Me : How dare you screw up my retirement. I put my life on hold for you to grow up so that I can start living it up. You better not screw this up. And you better not pile up more expenses on me! I have two sons and they are my assets. You better not spoil the damn count!

Kid#2 : Mumble Mumble

Me : Speak clearly

Kid#2 : Last week I had a car, a t.v. in my room, a mobile phone and a lap top. Today I have nothing. Its my asset count that has been spoilt!

Me : !!! ????

Motherhood is not for wimps Part 2

Posted on by
83

I wrote a post long time back complaining that bringing up two boys without a father is stressful! Motherhood or single parenting is definitely not for wimps
My sons not only text each other from the loo, they leave us women at home and go partying out together.

Sometimes the results are disastrous

I have one pilot and one mechanical engineer in the making as offsprings

Well they have re-engineered the car – perhaps they were making it fly

Its been a long sleepless night since Kid#2 who was driving got concussed. He still does not remember how he did this. Kid#1 somehow managed to get him to the hospital, (mercifully nothing broken – just bruises).

I wanna retire from parenting

I wanna run away

BEAM ME UP SCOTTY

Return of the Aviator!!

Posted on by
11

Kid#1 is back home now.  This, by our standards is huge!  He’s been to Philippines and back quite a few times in his quest for a commercial pilot’s license.   But then we are a family that goes from crisis to crisis – with a short pause in which we try to figure out if we are seriously out of trouble or not ….

Consider this : Kid#1 gets engaged …. runs the car over the verge and decides to fly planes …. since there are no verges in the sky!

Okay!  That is completely mean of me.  It may or may not have happened like this exactly but this is my story and my blog …

So he tries to get to Canada or the US to get his training.  Terrorism and brown skin decide that he does not get a Visa.  Hence he goes to Philippines

The course is supposedly for one year.  The Global Warming and Divine Powers decide that the weather will be horrible.  There are typhoons during the past two years that have drowned the country, ripped open the runway and tarmac and even smashed the air control tower to the ground.

Phew!

Hence the course that was to be for one year lasted two.  But he survived and is now a qualified Licensed Commercial Pilot

Anyway he is finally back, jet lagged, deprived of Indian food (we actually carried roti and dal sabzi to the airport with us for him) and skinny.

I mean I am the most carefree kind of parent but even I thought he was skinny ~~

Is there any mother in the world who thinks her child has come back home looking hale and hearty?  There is some kind of reflex circuitry which triggers a primitive response that is so Hindi Movie ….

Mom : Beta you are looking so starved – bechara!  Theekh se khaana bhi nahin mila.  Have another parantha ….

Son : Basking in maternal attention and pampering : Arrey vahan after the typhoon you could not get any fruit or vegetable, and there is nothing like ghar ki roti

Sibling : Perhaps thinking now the spotlight will have to be shared :  Bhai, I dunno, you look okay to me

Wifey : By passing all the undercurrents : Babe, I think you look sexy with the moustache

Ahem!  Okay I know you have been apart for the last four months but give it a break, Will Ya?

Come to think of it, I actually agree with her … he looked cute in a bearded Brad Pitt kind of a way

Aaaah!  You know what I think now that he is got married and educated (in that order rather than the conventional way?)

I think its one down and one to go.  Need the other one to get his degree and wife – in whichever order he wishes so that I can become a vagabond gypsy that I am at heart

One down one to go …. ….. ….. …..

Raaz : Iss Janam Ka

Posted on by
10

I’ve been watching Raaz Pichley Janam Ka with great interest.  Anything to do with deep seated memories, fast forward to future or a trip to the past simply fascinates me.  Sci Fi, extra terrestrial life forms, fantasy, occult are stuff right up my alley.  I normally avoid the television and the serials completely.  They piss me off.  This does not.

Me being me ~ how could I just be content with watching.  Like I said once while discussing blue flicks, spectator sports simply do not interest me.

So I decided to hunt out some one who could do P.L.R. for me.

Me : I want to get my past life regression done

DIL : Oh for godssake Mom!  Why?

Kid #2 : So do I!  Suppose I was a King or a mad Scientist it would be fun.  I’d know where I hid the money and could recover it or I would know some fantastic things I had invented.

Me :  Heyy this is about me!

DIL : Why is this family so insane?

Me :  Dunno babe ~~~ You decided to get hitched into this family, so it follows that you are insane

Well after the customary argument, I set off to get my PLT done.

The therapist I picked up played a spoil sport

Therapist :  Any phobias?

Me : None

Therapist : Any deep seated issues ~~~

Me : Well I had an awful relationship with my mother

Therapist : And

Me : She’s dead now ~~~

Therapist : And

Me : Thinking deeply : Well I guess I dont wanna meet her again in any life

(gwarsh!  This sounded lame ; even to me)

Therapist : You know you need a question that you need answered or an issue you need resolved – so first figure them out before you venture into such a journey.  It costs a lot.

Me : So?

Therapist : I guess you first resolve issues in your present life

Me : Mucho dissappointed

So I guess I need to introspect – actually single out issues that need resolution – in the pichla janam to go for a trip

I was talking to Kid#1 on the phone, actually complaining that the darn therapist actually stalled me!

Kid #1 : Huh!  If you wanted to go on a tour of Europe, Go visit Egypt or Greece I could understand!  This is weird

Sigh!!!  Yeah!  Guess I am weird- but I so wanna!

My kids talk to me …. Halp!!!!

Posted on by
21

indibloggies

Do vote for me at indibloggers in the best design category (Section 14)

http://multivote.sparklit.com/web_poll.spark/21900

You know what I hate about new age parenting?  The fact that there are so many rules that are diametrically opposed to how we were brought up!

Humarey Zamaaney Mein : Part One

Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child

Aaj Kal : We hear of the new fangled thing called child abuse

Humaarey Zamaaney Mein : Part Two

Children are simply to be seen, not heard

Aaj Kal : Parenting is all about keeping the communication lines open all the time.  Psychologists tell us it is good and rewarding.  We are to listen to our kids  attentively, participate in their lives

WELL!

ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT IT IS DARN INCONVENIENT!

What about the many years of “our lives” that we put on hold when they were kids and ran after them, picked after them and cooked stuff they wanted to eat?

What about how much the middle aged body and mind can take?

Picture this :

You put a load of laundry in the washing machine, brew a nice cup of tea and pick up the newspaper and settle into your warm quilt.  It is a utopia moment …..

Kid#2 : Mom, is Bhabhi around

Me : No, I guess she is upstairs

Kid#2 : Well, I was thinking yada yada yada

Me : Looking at the newspaper regretfully and trying to mentally console myself with a never mind, knowing said newspaper is going to go unread into kabadi ……. or I will have to wake up late in the night to read old news without the supplements and comics that I love – which the kids have already taken into their own rooms or to college/work

Sigh!

Or this scenario

Me, hastily cooking and laying the table, thinking of going online asap once dinner is over

Well the Kid has had a tiff with girl friend and wants to do detailed self analysis with all the “I have feelings of inadequacy and no one understands me” emotions of teenage with angst galore

or Scenario No. 2

DIL has to tell me all about quirks of her co-workers that she finds annoying.  I send an email and get chided because “You are not listening properly”.  So I settle down to “listen properly”, and after 5 minutes add my comment to what she said about a co-worker.

She stops me with a “Dont take it the wrong way, but I dont want you to say anything – not that I dont value your inputs”.

Me : You mean you want to be heard with no comments?  So you better talk to a wall then!?!????

She : I am not saying you cant comment

Me : But you prefer that I dont

She : I didnt mean that ~~~~

Me : But I thought that’s what you meant

She : MOMMMMMM You dont listen properly

And she stomps off hufffily

I give up on the emails totally confused.  Besides my middle aged body is tired and needs its rest ……….

I prefered the olden days

Humaarey Zamaaney Mein : Part Two

Children are simply to be seen, not heard

Make that young adults too

Once upon a Time ……

Posted on by
20

There was this young girl, skinny as hell, walking around with a permanent cold (sickly actually), an introvert who preferred reading books to interacting with boys who tried to feel up more endowed girls other social creatures.

The girl then discovered food, and started getting comfortable with food and herself ….

and more comfortable …….

And more comfortable

And now the girl has morphed into me …..  It first started with a bit of a bulge, which I dismissed as aftermath of second pregnancy

Then thighs started thickening, so I switched over to salwar kameezes while battling for a divorce, thinking it was stress and would go away ……

And then I hated the idea of started to get into the huff and puff mode!  I mean who needs that in a full day of work, meals, kids homeworks, shopping for groceries and battling lawyers, mother and all that life effin throws up.

Then came son’s wedding and two major surgeries in two years! 

By that time I had got blase’.  I convinced myself that my self worth was not based on my waist size, and since I had managed to remain reasonably healthy, no diabetes, blood pressure and ticker going strong, it did not matter.  I was not here competing with Priyanka Chopra’s figure hai na?  Besides a slim svelte figure is such a superficial thing ……..  I am more cerebral

It all fizzled out when I spent a sleepless night battling acidity and saw myself in the bathroom mirror next morning.  I looked like Bellatrix Lestrange on a bad day ballooned into a watermelon


 

NASTY!!!!

But that did not phase me out.  What did was the sleepless night!  Told ya, I am wayy more cerebral than your average person who values good looks and health       :P

So ladies and gentlemen I have started cooking healthy, feeding my family more innovative and light meals. 

I have also started trying to run – it converts into a trot – pant – groan – pant – walk as of now.  Never mind WE SHALL OVERCOME

…………………………………………………………………………… ………….SOME DAY

DIL tells me that I should bow in front of her, since it is she who pointed out how unhealthy my cooking was.  Madam, here you are, this is all the bow you shall get BOW WOW!

Kid #2 has started looking slim, instead of Laddu from Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gam.  I foresee a bevy of hotties around him in a short while

As far as I am concerned, well I am much too old a sinner for fat cells to give up easily.  They cling, and rebel even though I am huffin and puffin and the friction of my thighs against each other could start a bonfire.

I may not climb the Everest or date a Sherpa …..

I may not win the Olympic Medal and kiss Obama while he gives it to me …… sigh! drool!!!

But dammit, I do get a night’s undisturbed sleep

That is reward enough!

Karva Chowth at Phoenix House

Posted on by
12

I am very ambivalent about karva chowth and I wrote a post last year stating my reasons which readers found hilarious.  Well I am like that anyways …. :lol:

My kids want to celebrate each and every festival with gusto, even the all female ones like karva chowth. I would doll up, do the mehendi, new dress and bangles and trinkets thingy, and then we would eat drink and be merry.  Now I have happily handed over baton to DIL

I’ve told DIL she has the option to do away with the fast if she wishes. Its cool with us …

Flashback two days ago ………………………..

Kid#2 : Mom are you gonna get mehendi and stuff done?

Me : Reclining on my bed with laptop : Nah, I have done away with peripherals

Kid#2 : Why????

Me ; Astonished at such a strong reaction : I never keep the fast anyway, and am not in the mood for dolling up

Kid#2 : Launching full blown drama : You never do anything, you are not fun anymore, festivals dont feel like festivals when Bhai isnt around ………………….

Me : ??????!!!!!!!???????

Then Godji sent inspiration (Thank you Godji Phewww!)

Me : Beta Bhabhi will do all that, its her time

DIL came home dancing : See my new suit that I bought for Karva Chowth! Isnt it pretty? Kid#2 you better be home on Karva Chowth eve since you gotta take me to get mehendi done

Kid#2 : Looking much happier : Jee Bhabhi, do you also want to go to the parlour? I am so glad someone is celebrating! (The last said snidely)

DIL : After consideration : Nah parlour will be too full, besides I’ll be working full day

Me : Heaving a quiet sigh of relief : Beta, tell me what you wanna eat for sargi, I’ll cook that.

Both of them seriously discussing possible options for the early morning sargi

I never knew handing over all the stuff was so liberating!!!!

She can do the mehendi and dress and fast if she so desires!

I AM OUT OF IT!!!!

 

We had sargi together at 5 a.m. which I cooked early in the morning.  Kid#2′s craving for some festival celebration got satisfied, DIL and I left for work!  I think I narrowly escaped the dog house!!!

Halp! My words come and bite me in the ….

Posted on by
15

My elder son has gone and I already feel the absence!

Yeah I know he’s just a phone call away …..   I also know that I have told him in all sorts of ways that he can leave and settle down anyplace in the world and its okay with me!  In fact I have told this to both the kids.  No I am not being a bitch – but I truly believe that parents have been successful if their kids learn to be completely self reliant.  I am not above throwing  a tantrum and telling them to get the F out of here, when I am being completely and unreasonably menopausal!

But see, I am on my knees apologising – that too publicly on my blog

Flashback to yesterday …..

I get home by 6 p.m. to find the maids in a tizzy.  Apparently the door that opens into the first floor of our home mysteriously got locked.  We have a fully functional apartment kind of set up on the first floor with two bedrooms, one living room, balcony etc.  The maids said they did not lock the dratted door.  The dogs cannot do it, and neither can the fishes.  We are the first occupants of this villa, so no irate ghost could be playing games…..

WELL

I cursed the damn maids, the damn door, the damn dogs etc and tried to open the door.  I tried about 2 dozen ( I am not exaggerating) 2 dozen keys, but could not open it.

Rang up Kid 2 who refused to pick up his effin cell!

Rang up Kid 1 in Phillipines in desperation!  He found things amusing (Damn Him).  Most likely he was thanking his stars that he is in Philly and does not have to be Alpha Male and set things right at home!

I got our resident electrician to climb the roof, jump into the balcony (it requires athletic prowess) and open the door.  Phew!  Once the door was unlocked I felt relieved.  The maids got busy with their cleaning and I wandered to the loo

Whadduknow!!!!!  The effin loo was locked! 

How does the same shit happen twice in the same day????

Got out that huge box of keys GROAN!  Started trying each and every one of ‘em again DOUBLE GROAN  Made a mental note to separate the darn keys into bunches that made sense

Kid 1 rang up to ask “Did the upstairs get unlocked” and went hysterical when told about my loo

“Use the other loo Mom”

Me : “No thanks Kiddo!  I like to use my own loo”

Kid 2 still wasnt picking up the phone

DIL rang up – heard my predicament and was properly sympathetic (at first)

The lock magically opened – one key actually fit!  WOW!

DIL rang up again, got the update and then said in a sweetly bitchy tone :

“You keep telling us to go away and you wanna live alone dont you?!  See this is what will happen to you old woman!”

Ouch!  I hate eating crow!

Kid 1 I am sorry!  Dont mean half of what I say anyways.  So stop laughing and feeling smug.  Kid 2, if you dont pick up the phone, your cell will be confiscated, and DIL, I hate it when you are right, especially when you are at your bitchiest best and right!

Gaaah!

Talking Long Distance ……

Posted on by
20

Actually not long distance as far as distance went. Kid#1 was comfortably esconced on the sofa with his feet on the centre table. DIL was lying down Diva-like on the couch

Kid#2 and Moi were sitting on the other sofa, he was trying to read Tehelka with me trying to read what he was reading ……

DIL : Babe did you call the window wala

Kid#1: No I did not

DIL: (The voice was freezing here) You know the bathroom window has been broken for the last two weeks. Why did you not do it?

Kid#1: Voice rising in defense: I told you I am busy …..

Me: Abandoning the Tehelka and looking at them. This Tehelka was better than Mayawati

Kid#2: Stuffing nose deeper in Tehelka since he is not yet out of the dog house for what he did to the Xing.

Silence for something like 2 whole minutes ……….. Angry looks being exchanged

…… Yummy ………..

DIL: Kid#2 ask your incompetent brother to give me MY almairah keys. I forgot my set at office today

Kid#2 : Doing a good imitation of a deaf mute

Kid#1: Kid#2 tell your arrogant sister in law that I will not give her the keys to MY almairah. She can go to office and get hers

Kid#2: You both can hear each other, leave me out of this

DIL : Mom tell that jackassy son of yours

Me : Picking up a pillow and hiding behind it : Leave me out of it. I dont participate in spousal fights. I only watch them for entertainment.

Both of them: Oh you are hopeless

They look at each other and start laughing. She gets the key bunch and he promises to get a glass man for the window

Both Kid#2 and I look at them shocked. Whaddumean? Was that all???? We want more entertainment

Shucks!!!