Note : We live in a duplex, and the boys have bedrooms on the first floor and I lord it (queen it?) in solitary splendour on the ground floor. I hate going upstairs for every time I want to talk to them. Hence phones and gmail give me stellar service
Email from me to Ishaan
Betaji
Request you to please start working with me on the book trailer
Regards
Me
Five minutes pass ….
Ten minutes pass ….
Fifteen bloody minutes pass …
And I get a cryptic reply
LOL
Hain jee?
Sometimes I just hate the younger generation, they are so damn tech savvy. I decided to make a book trailer for my book A Bowlful of Butterflies. I went and downloaded the software, made the trailer, and was pretty pleased with myself. I thought it was slick and I thought I was pretty smart.
But then such pride commeth before a fall, as the Bible warns us.
Ishaan had been watching me closely. He decided to make his own book trailers. So he comes to me and says, “Ma, I want your software.”
I was like … Okay I’ll give it to you, but I let it slide. Knowing how much of a procrastinator I can be, he came with a usb, took the software and put it on his computer. He played around with it, and became so darn proficient. Sigh!!
I hate that. I was the pioneer of the Lalit household dammit, I researched, asked around and got the software – and he!!! He makes my trailer look so damn tacky! Not fair, I tell ya!
His next book is Sci Fi again. He loves the genre. Its a pretty interesting concept. Suppose there are six earths … parallel dimensions. They all have the same geography … and are peopled by humans. Suppose there was a master race and it had devices that enabled people to travel into these earths just like stepping into another room or something ….
Suppose ….
I tell you, the boy has a crazy over active brain
Watch the trailer for yourself and decide …
<iframe width=”420″ height=”315″ src=”http://www.youtube.com/embed/w5ks3TvR-mI” frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen></iframe>
Oh …. Hexagon has a page of its own on Facebook. Do visit and like it here
I am replaying the trailer and feeling inadequate. Damn! The boy has talent 
Case One
“Have one kid, you become a parent. Have two and you become a refree”
Have adult kids … you still want to be a refree, but they will have none of it.
Younger dude has relapsed into teenhood. He has anxiety attacks, feels depressed because he is never going to amount to much, since he isn’t going to be a millionaire. SHEESH! Is this cue for me to feel like a failure because I am not a millionaire?
Kid#1 : Coming up with the only male solution to this : Let’s go have beer.
Kid#2 : Naah, I don’t feel like drinking.
My jaw hit the floor, as I opened the medicine drawer.
Never . In . My . Living . Memory . Has . Anyone . Refused . A . Drink . When . Feeling . Low
This was serious.
Kid#1 : Yeah! (Pushing him) You refusing? Let’s fight then!
Kid#2 : Angrily shrugging him off : Leave me alone!
Kid#1 : Fight me and I will.
Me : Stop it the two of you.
DIL : Let them! Wanna bet my husband will win? MY BABY STRONGEST!
Both of them angrily to us: You stay out of it!
Then they had a go at each other, a really intense one. The furniture and doors are still intact, mercifully. The thermometer I had taken out isn’t.
The depression is over … and they have gone for beer. MENS!!!!!
Case Two
DIL is eating muesli for dinner – she is counting calories.
Me : Eyeing the left over slices of banana : Are you finishing that?
(It would be a perfect guilt free desert)
DIL : Aggressively : Don’t look at that! I am going to finish it.
Me : Backing off : Its okay, just asking.
What’s biting her ass?
Kid#1 : (The Residential Peacekeeper) Why are you being aggressive?
DIL : She started it!
Me : ?????
DIL : Defensively : I am not wasting it.
Me : Sulkily : I only wanted a bite.
DIL : With a sunny relieved smile : Here, take all of it.
WOMENS!!!!!
Case Three
Kid#2 : Poking me in the stomach while I am doing something all important, like playing Empires and Allies on Facebook, while sitting on the bed.
Me : Angrily : Don’t poke me.
Kid#2 : Cheekily : I will
Me : Don’t!
Kid#2 : Poking me again : And what will you do?
Me : Losing it and slapping him hard.
Stunned silence in the room.
And then Kid#2 starts to laugh.
Kid#2 : Jeez Ma, is that the best you can do. That was such a cute slap.
BRATS!!!!
I switch on the TV and get a black screen. There is no snow, no blue and no picture screen. Just a black screen.
Me : Scream! My TV does not have power
Kid#2 : It has power but something is wrong with it. It does not work.
Me : How?
Kid#2 : I dont know, voltage fluctuations must have burnt some part
Me : When did this happen?
Kid#1 : Don’t you know? I think that was Tuesday.
And it is Sunday today …….
Me : Hot damn. I wanted to watch some TV
Kid#2 : No you dont. Anyone who does not need a TV for four days does not need one.
Me : But I wanted to watch news
Kid#2 : Utube hai na
Kid#1 : Vaise bhi, we call your room the honeymoon suite. Solid bed, great airconditioning, no TV, door always locked
Me : ???????? Go pick on someone else, I am going back into my “honeymoon suite”
Damn they should have informed me that the damn TV broke. I could have gotten it repaired over the week!
I have been good. I have been so good for the last couple of blog posts that I have started to believe that those were written by a stranger. I mean I miss the old Ritu. Why the eff have I become so politically correct?
Am I growing old?
I am all for the kids doing their own thing and letting elderly me relax on my bed with my lap top. Age and growing feeble is an asset, which should be used properly. It can be really advantageous.
It makes the kids deal with crisis responsibly
Which is just what they did when a switchboard caught fire upstairs in the night. They let me sleep happily downstairs while they combated the fire …. the best they could.
Apparently Kid#1 and DIL were just going to bed when there was an electrical fire.
Kid#1 tried to gently fan it away with a towel.
DIL snatched the towel away and stomped it down with all her might.
Kid#2, who woke up due to the commotion, stood blankly watching the fire, half asleep.
The two male dogs also reacted strangely. The dacshund, Piper was so scared that he needed therapy. He slept the night in DIL’s bed, clinging to her.
Baron, our german shephard sat watching the commotion dumbly.
Jeannie our female german shephard growled and barked at the fire, trying to scare it away.
DIL came down for her morning cup of milk and told me
“You know there was a fire last night”
Me : Whaaaat? When, where??
DIL : I put it out. It was me who ordered both your sons to get the towels. Even then, they were being so gentle. I snatched the towel from their hands and stomped the fire away.
Me : My God!
…. and I rushed to see it.
She told me how the dogs reacted … and how the men did.
Females of any species are far more alert and pro-active, even if we snarl and bark at dangers, even if our mode of action is not the ideal one. Yeah!
But the last line has to be Kid#1′s
Oye! Stop bragging. I was the one who turned off the mains!
All said and done … females rock
And another thing …. do you think its time I retire??? I can, you know. She can take care of my two boys well ….
Has any thing done by the residents of the Phoenix House carried off without a hitch? Naah! So how would the launches go off without the mad hatter behind the scene freak outs? That would not be like us, right?
Of course, it started with the eternal question, what do we wear? Ahem, actually, it was – what am I going to wear … which entailed a mad dash to Gurgaon for clothes. The heavens were extremely kind and smiled down on me, Marks and Spencer had a sale. So kind readers, I shopped! Something I don’t normally do, because, …. well because I do not party. My idea of a party is cooking divine grub at home and inviting folks over, and presiding over the meal in daily wear. The invitees are kind enough to ignore my appearance and concentrate on the food on the table, thankfully 
The boys and DIL actually (gasp) liked my clothes! That is a first 
The boys also looked well put together, credit goes to DIL, who is quite a fashionista. I can go on through life in a pair of tattered jeans and shirt. She is a blessing, I tell you.
Like I said earlier, Ishaan is a man in a hurry. He bullied his publisher, Prashant of APK Publishers to deliver the books in a hurry. The poor guy actually deputed a man to deliver the books on the morning of (hold your breath) the day of the launch! I was in a tizzy. All the death and doom scenarios playing and replaying in my mind. But this is a changed person, people. I swear I have turned into a saint. I sat in my room mindlessly surfing the net, but never did the horrible words “What if?” ever slip out of my unguarded lips.
The Kid#2, (self appointed manager/literary agent) hot footed to Delhi at 6 am on the morning of D Day to take the delivery of the books. I was fast asleep at 9 am when he barged into my room with a “Wake up and see what your son’s book looks like!”
I fell in love with the cover. It is so colorful!
I had bullied my boss to preside over the launch in Faridabad. The man was kind enough to agree. The press lapped it up.
This is my Page 3 moment 
Of course the rest of the photos were just centered around the big man, the author and the author’s wife
The Delhi launch was less formal. Friends, relatives and a young author Upneet Grover, whose book Cricket Till I Die has just been launched. I realized at the last moment that I had no writer to launch the book in Delhi. Some tears, some frazzled moments and some tantrums later, we gheraod poor Upneet to launch it. He was deeply embarrassed but blushed and did the same.
P.S. He looks cute when he blushes
I need to thank IHM who not only drove down to Delhi but also took a lot of pics. She also wrote a review of the book. She also brought Sangeeta Khanna and Ruchira of Nirjharini. I was so delighted to see blogger friends at the launch. Thanks ladies for coming to the launch of The Bracelet.
Last but not the least, dear readers, The Bracelet is available at Flipkart. Please buy it. It is written by my Kid#1
If any one told me six years ago that Ishaan would be a writer, I would have concluded that the person was delusional. If someone told me six months ago that Ishaan would write a book, I would have concluded that the person had a bit too much to drink. Which is exactly what I thought when Kartikeya came and told me that Ishaan has written a book….
Me : No way, I am the writer around here
Kid#2 : He’s a better writer
Competition reared its ugly head ….
Me : I wanna see. I don’t believe you.
Kid#2 : What don’t you believe
Me : (Getting more Drama Queenie by the minute) Both! Show me the M/s
Kid#2 : I am his agent, and I have to talk to my client before I can show his manuscript to you.
Me : (Trying very hard to control the urge to kick his braces off his teeth) Dude … you are a mechanical engineer – not a literary agent
Kid#2 : Raising his brow in a superior way
Editor’s note : Ever seen this ad by Birla Sun Life? Seems to be the story of my kids … sigh!
Well, I read the manuscript and was blown out of my mind! Its racy, readable and … damn, when did the brat who did not want to finish school, dabbled in a whole lot of crazy things like Tai Kwon Do, Gemmology, Travel, trading of mobile phones, Aviation, Badminton … ever learn how to write like this?
I confess I was a wee bit envious. Heck I am a wee bit envious. My book will come out when my esteemed publishers deem fit, here he is – a published author!
Ishaan thinks I am too patient. He is a man in a hurry. He wrote the book, chewed out his publisher, Prashant Karhade’s head. The editing was done on war footing. So was the art work for the book cover. God bless Prashant. He was so patient and efficient. I realize, Prashant that it was an impossible deadline that Ishaan imposed upon you. But kudos to you man, you pulled it off.
Guys if you want a great publisher who walks every step of the way with you … check out Prashant at APK Publishers. I have found him very approachable. Ishaan swears by him. Thanks mate!
I will write about the launch in the next blog post.
Abhay stood up. He was in a field of grass. Then he heard horses coming. Abhay looked to his right and then to his left, and saw that he was surrounded by horse riders. They stopped just before the dense grass and waited. A man appeared out of nowhere, walked up to him, and held up his hand revealing a bracelet.
What is the secret of the bracelet? Why is everybody after it? And who will get it: the Tantrics or the… Arthrakshaks?
Abhay, an ordinary college-going boy, is thrust into a world of secrets, lies, deceit, and supernatural entities. He finds out that he is an integral part of a war that he must win to save himself and his family from destruction. Will he be able to do it? To find out, read this fascinating novel that you just won’t be able to put down!
This makes me proud Kid#1 aka Ishaan Lalit is now a published author. His YA book is coming out by the end of the month. I request all you guys to help me publicize it, please. Do attempt this tag and tag five of your blogger friends to copy+paste the cover and the back blurb (in bold and italics) and also do the tag.
1. What does the name suggest? Could be anything you know, even “Oops its my wife/girl friend’s birthday, what do I get her” Just put it down.
2. If your loved one presented you a bracelet, what would you want it to be made of? Alternatively if you had to present a bracelet to your sweetheart, what would you pick?
a.) Gold
b) Gold and rubies
c) Diamonds babe, just diamonds
d) Whateva, its gotta be expensive and look it!
e) Simple iron kada, or a silver one. Not showy
3. Suppose your bracelet (or kada) had magical qualities (Like Aladin’s lamp) what magical qualities would you want it to have? Let your imagination run riot … anything, money, power, world domination, elixir of youth …. Just pen it down – or punch them keys
4. Do snakes scare you or do you get strangely fascinated by them?
5. Harry Potter could speak Parseltongue. Do you wish you could?
6. What do you dream about? No this is not about day dreaming, it’s not about wishful thinking, its about being in dreamland.
7. Do you remember your dreams?
8. Ever had your dreams interpreted?
9. Do you keep a dream diary?
10. Your favorite wrist jewellery?
a). Bangles
b) Bracelet
c) Expensive Watch
d) Friendship band
e) Taveez or sacred thread (mouli)
I tag the following
1. Monika
And the son and his wife got married today, 4 years ago …..
You know what 4 years of marriage does to you?
Four years ago, on this day, the bride went to a beauty parlour, dolled up and came to meet the groom in all her finery. The groom decked up too. This is what they looked like
Please ignore the mother in law and brother in law …. they came as a package deal in the wedding. Something like Do ke saath do free
Today the two of them woke up at 12 noon, and then sleepily came downstairs for breakfast. After breakfast (which we had at 2 in the afternoon) I brought out the cake which they cut.
Love (or is it simply being comfortable in your own skin) means celebrating your anniversary in your night clothes without dolling up, heck without even taking a bath
Isn’t the cake simply lovely?