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Tag rules :

1. You must post the rules.
2. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post and then create eleven new questions to ask the people you’ve tagged.
3. Tag eleven people and link to them on your post.
4. Let them know you’ve tagged them!

Ze questions

1. What is your favorite cartoon character and how do you relate its traits to real life?

It has to be Maxine. I love her … and sometimes I think I am becoming her! I think she should have a comic book to herself

2. What attachment do you think can keep you from salvation? (A metaphorical question this Salvation is no cake. For me it was my attachment to my cat Chunky).

I don’t want salvation. I don’t want to die and go someplace where there is total peace and happiness. So boring. Once I die I intend to hang on here and haunt people – just for the fun of it.

3. Name one character from books/movies that you admired and why.

To many …. Heathcliff comes to mind, so does Hermoine Granger and the twin Weasleys …. Gandalf. And the Mad Hatter! Oh I am spoilt for choice

4. If you were to write a book with you as the lead, what would be the genre of the book?

Insane whacky humor

5. Which language do you think in and how does it help?

I think in Hinglish, want to write in that language too, but publishers dont like that

6. If you are new to a niche group, for example a seminar on a technology you have no clue about and everybody except you seems comfortable with the jargon, how do you try and fit in? You act smugly confident or intelligently curious? (Cue: Mandira Bedi’s foray in Cricket Commentary).

My way of acting in such situations is to be a bimbette … you know big smile on face and no questions. You would be amazed how much you get away with if you wear a lovely smile and are lucky enough to have an innocent look on your face. Oh it helps to wear plain glasses to hide the devil within.

7. Name one quality of yours you admire without a tinge of narcissism.

Heck I am as narcissistic as they come! My writing talent perhaps?

8. What is one faux pas you would never want to make? And are most susceptible to making!

Forgetting the right name for the right face …. I do that so often

9. Umm…tell me a joke (The reason is I was known for jokes which couldn’t make even the Mad Hatter laugh, well ‘cos he’s doesn’t grasp them, but that’s another case. You have to tell me a joke which makes me laugh and I can then borrow it )

My cousin once told me that life should be taken with a pinch of
salt ….and a wedge of lemon ……. not forgetting a large measure of tequilla.

Not funny enough? Try reading this after a couple of tequilla shots.

10. What is the accomplishment you are most proud of as a person? (I had once convinced my friend’s 4 year old sister, who was down with possible Typhoid to take a blood test without crying. When we took her to the lab, she was crying her heart out and would not even listen to anything. I took her out, got her a toffee and then told her, you wanna get well no? Doctors want you to get well too, they wanna know what you have and can treat you then. The needle is a mosquito bite young lady, and we are not afraid of mosquitos She went inside, and held out her arm and told the doctor with a smile – I don’t need an your assistant to hold my hand, I am a brave girl. Well I wanted to brag so the question )

I think my life is what I am proud of; it is my main notable achievement

11. This is a cliched one. Tell us a hobby/sport that most people don’t know you’re good at.

Watching sansanikhej khabrein and cooking up awesome successful ways in which crime can be committed

There! Phew done that!

My questions – hehehehehe I am so gonna have fun!

1. If you were in Harry Potter series, which character would you be?

2. Any one you wish would fall off the planet?

3. Do you believe in miracles?

4. Famous person you resemble ….

5. Your favorite superstition – I make a wish on fallen eyelashes

6. What is your superpower? ~~Mine is to dream up fantastically improbable stories~~ Actually it is to eat food and convert it into fat!

7. If a movie was made on your life, what would it be called?

8. Which would you prefer – dying in a blaze of glory or dying peacefully in your sleep?

9. What do you do when no one is watching – no, not THAT! Something you can safely admit to

10. Gabbar Singh or Mogambo?

11. Angeline Jolie’s leg as displayed on Oscar or Mallika Sherawat’s gyrations in Jalebi Bai?

Okay now to tag eleven people,

1. Aneela

2. Chandni

3. Abha

4. Dipali

5. Shail

6. Imp’s Mom

7. Monika Manchanda

8. Purba Ray

9. Deeps

10. UmaS

11. Iya

Whadduknow, I got eleven people! Wow

And Kamikaze done your tag

Yeah this is a social art one should learn. One is faced with many situations when one has to paint a fake smile on the face, show pleasure, fork out a whole lot of hard earned money and get a gift for someone one wishes were wiped off the face of this earth! We need to do the gifting thing for Diwali, for Christmas, for weddings and New Year.

If you are a north Indian, life gets easier. You simply take a shagun envelope, pop in some money, seal it and slip it into the said person’s pocket. Chore done! We have reduced gifting to a simple financial transaction. But it simply does not reflect the anger, the displeasure that one feels in parting with that sum of money does it? I mean it does not say “Mrs. Chopra, I think you are an overfed, over made up empty headed shallow person, and I don’t give a rat’s ass that your spoilt son is getting married” etc etc. Get my drift?

Well, if one has to do the deed, I think one can do it with panache!

So here are my suggestions for really creative gifting

EVIL GIFTING IDEAS

1. Santa themed neck tie

Dont knock it. Someone gave ex a red christmassy tie with santas, reindeers and christmas bells on it. The look on his face was priceless when he unwrapped it. Well, he never wore it (obviously) and I ultimately hung a few bells using it as a string on the baby’s crib. I have always found it really creatively evil gifting idea! While on the subject a hawaiian shirt would do well too.

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2. A hard-bound copy of the Ramayana or Geeta (written in Sanskrit with no translation).

Feel free to substitute it with other appropriate religious material. Most effective when the recipient is young, non-religious and suffering from a hangover when he unwraps it.

3. A Morning Walker :

Ideal gift to give to an ex who is simply not moving on or getting the message. If you do not want to spend that much money, a Low Cal diet recipe book will suffice too.

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4. A dress that is just one size small.

This is purrrfect for the oh so superior patronizing females. I have heard of a lady who did that every christmas for her daughters and daughter in laws. Then she would insist on them modeling it for her and then cluck sympathetically and say “I simply did not realize how healthy my darling girls have grown!”

Well Alicia Keyes dress says it all ~~~ and most of us arent as shapely as her to carry it off even this much~

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5. A vacuum cleaner/Vesta dish warmers.

Husbands if you hate your wives go for it! If you hate sleeping on the couch, dont do it, tempting though it may be ….. :P

6. A life-sized framed poster of Kylie Minogue looking like this

Kylie-Minogue_6 Works wonderfully as Mrs. Chopra’s spoilt son’s wedding gift. She can spend the rest of her life bitching about it at kitty parties, but her son wont know where to keep it – not to mention – how to explain to his bride!

7. Soap

Cheap, unimaginative. Just sends the message that you could not be bothered to think of a suitable gift at the best; and that you think the person should wash up, at the worst.

8. A drum set (the electronic one with 6 different tones and 8 different beats) for your least favorite cousin’s brat

The good thing will be that you will no longer be on talking terms with your cousin. A win-win situation

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