Tag Archives: Current Events

What a Match!

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We began with the star studded cast …. off field!  Indo Pak matches are more than cricket!

India was represented by the empress in the shadows, the decoy emperor and the future emperor

Our friendly neighbour was represented by the decoy emperor.  Were the real emperors of our neighbour present?  I did not see the ISI chief any where … so I guess there must have been minders in the shadows.

Bollywood (yes its a separate country in itself) was represented by Amir Khan, Priety Zinta and Sunil Shetty.  Oh there was Vivek Oberoi as well.  Did not spot Deepika Padukone.

Speaking of which, Money was represented by Vijay Mallya.

Thanks to the presence of such an august audience, the players played their hearts out and did not let their tongues run away.  There was not even a gentle “Teri Ma Ki” from either side, forget about a Bh*&^Ch*d or variants thereof.

Sigh!  And no one ripped his shirt off like Ganguly did once …

Khair!

The good thing is that we won.  Hello Sri Lanka!

I won too!  Hey J.K. you owe me a grand, and lady I am not letting you off the hook.  We both can get together and party like silly on that money.  You know how much I’d like that!

 

What this match will be memorable for is the drops and the misses.  Pakistan missed winning thanks to their fielding. As Midday scathingly put it, if ever Shahid Afridi wants to change careers mid-stream, he could try his hand at writing books. “How To Drop Catches and Lose A World Cup”

Sachin missed reading the off spinners well, may be he was having an off day, but God sure smiled on him.  He could give Rajnikanth a serious competition, considering the amount of times he came back from the dead.  A twitter remark was that Sachin the God came back from the dead 5 times, Jesus came back only once!

And all of us missed Poonam Pandey.  This Kingfisher calendar girl said she would run through the stadium in the buff if our boys won.

Kya hua …… tera vaada?

Wagah Wagah Eh Eh This Time for India

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Wagah Wagah ey ey
Wagah Wagah Oh Oh
Show what you got on Wednesday

Wagah Wagah Hey Hey
Wagah Wagah Oh Oh
Show what you got on Wednesday

All Indians are raising
Their Expectations
Go on and feed them

Wagah Wagah Hey Hey
Wagah Wagah Oh Oh
Show us what you got on Wednesday

You’re all good players
Brave indomitable
Keep your spirit up
And annihilate their attack
Even tho it may be brutal

You’re on the frontline
The nation is watching
You know it’s serious
We’ve got to win this time
This isnt over

The pressure is on
You feel it
But you’ve got it all
Believe it

When you fall get up
Oh oh…
And if you fall get up
Oh oh…

Love our neighbour
Send them home
Do your best on Wednesday
Bring victory home
This time for India

Juta Hosla Badal Faisla
Badhale Tu Bindas Kafila
This time for India

Khel Jamale Kasam Uthale
Bajake Chutki Dhool Chatadhe
This time for India

Listen to your god
This is your moment
No hesitations
Wednesday is your day
I feel it
You paved the way
Believe it

If you get down
Get up Oh oh…
When you get down
Get up eh eh…

Juta Hosla Badal Faisla
Badhale Tu Bindas Kafila
This time for India

Khel Jamale Kasam Uthale
Bajake Chutki Dhool Chatadhe
This time for India

To be sung to the tune of Shakira’s This Time for Africa. The chorus is taken from the world cup theme song De Ghumake

Just good friends and other damn lies

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I am sitting in my bed and watching television. I love watching cine awards. Yes, you may scoff it but I enjoy it. And no I am not pretentious, and I am very proud of my non-intellectual bad taste. I enjoy music chanels too, all those hunks and babes shaking their tush for our entertainment …. do you know you had to be a King to enjoy all this in the olden days?

Well, I digress

An actress comes with her equally gorgeous paramour, and then says ;) “We’re good friends”

Hain jee?

And he was in his undies, rubbing his sleepy eyes when he opened the door to the Income Tax blokes who raided your apartment?

Who are you kidding?

You are a young, rich and successful woman, the epitome of liberation and women’s emancipation. It took guts, sweat, determination and a fair amount of street smarts to reach the position you have.

You have talent, intelligence, in short, you rock. You are someone girls should look up to as a role model.

I thought that dalit girl in U.P. who took on the MLA who raped her showed more guts. I fall on my knees to her.

Lady, please …

This is the twenty first century. No one is shocked if you are spending the night with your lover. Heck, he is such a good looking chocolate boy, some women may be jealous or spiteful, but scandalized? No!

So stop insulting our intelligence.

And relax!

Today, a poor girl lies miamed and near death. Her fault? She is a dalit, she is poor and she had the guts to resist rape. The goons who hacked her and left her to bleed to death roam free.

Lady, she has the courage to breathe even today. She has the courage to be honest and name the goons who did that to her. She knows what it means to take on the U.P. criminals. But she is honest.

Don’t hide behind lies. You owe it to women of this country

Andher Nagri, Chaupat Raja

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Does any one remember the old poem “Andher Nagari Chaupat Raja, Takke Ser Bhaaji, Takke Ser Khaja”

The net tells me that the first line roughly translates as “Dark is the nation and insane the king”.

The second would translate as, “One Paisa for a ser of spinach and One Paisa for a ser of dates”

The tale told in the poem is of a young graduate from a gurukul who goes forth to this andher nagri to make his career.  His Guru advises him not to, but he doesnt listen.  The guru says “Andher Nagri, Chaupat Raja, Takke Ser Bhaaji, Takke Ser Khaja” and tells him that citizens of such a land will lack any kind of balance or power to think because such irrational and unjust policies pervade all aspects including commerce, law and ethics.  The student thinks he can make huge profit in such a place, and so goes to this andher nagri.
Well, he has a ball and feasts everyday on cheap dates and grows chubby.

Meanwhile four brothers scale the walls of a rich man’s house, to steal.  The wall falls down on them, killing them.  Their mother wants vengeance. She argues that her sons were only following their profession.  She wants the home-owner hanged.  The home owner is called, who in turn blames the brick layer. The bricklayer of course blames the cement.  The cement mixer is summoned.

Get the drift?  It gets increasingly strange now …

The cement guy says that may be a mistake happened but he was distracted because he was greeting a passing sadhu.  So the judge calls the sadhu, who, being a religious man had nothing to say to defend himself.  The sadhu was sentenced to death.

Now the noose is made as per the nationally prescribed norms.  The noose is put around the sadhu’s neck,but slips off since he is scrawny due to his constant fasting.

The judge gets impatient and decides that the hanging must happen, and since he can’t change the specs of the noose, he has to find a neck that fits it.

The chubby student who was hanging around the courtroom watching this drama gets hauled and the noose fits his neck.

His hanging is fixed for the next noon.  Desperately he sends an SOS to his Guru who reaches there just in time to stop the hanging.  The Guru creates a ruckus and insists that he must be hanged and not the student.  The judge is surprised and curious.  He asks the Guru why he wants to die?

The Guru tries to avoid answering.  When threatened with dire consequences, he confesses that on this day of the new moon, anyone who is hanged would attain moksha.

The judge insists that by virtue of being the judge, he deserves the moksha and orders his own hanging.  The Guru and his disciple flee the land.

I got this tweet on my timeline and remembered the old tale …..

First time in life, necessities, comfort and luxuries are all sold at the same price per unit..Onions Rs 65/- Petrol Rs 65/- Beer Rs 65/-


CWG : Crores in my Wallet and Ghar

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Jim Carrey commented on Tiger Woods’ countless affairs that came out of the woodwork – he noted that if a husband is philandering to the extent that Tiger Woods appeared to have been, his wife would have had some sort an inkling.

By the same logic, if there was a scam of such a huge scale, it seems impossible that the Delhi Government and the Sports Ministry had no clue about it.  And the mild response of our Government in power – I don’t know, it reminds me of my Mom trying to protect my younger brother from getting a completely justified bashing from me or a punishment from my Papa.   Its as though they are saying “Shush, stop making such a racket.  Kalmadi has been a bad naughty boy and will get his ears boxed soon.  Let the games happen, baad mein sab kuch karenge”.  My question ……. Kya karogey Bhai?  Are you hoping that the furore dies down, we have a rocking Games based on total jugaad and the public forgets?

Ma always said ” Shant ho jao, varna Papa ko yaad aa jayega aur bahut marenge”.  I see the same look in our netas eyes.  Puhlees, we have about sau crore abaaadi, and there is no one suitable who can take over from Mr. Kalmadi and company?  Don’t insult our intelligence.

I am peeved!  Its my money ….. makes me feel like not paying taxes at all.  Godji, I am sorry, but I feel like the CWG has not only made a chu@#$ya of the Government (i.e. unless the Govt netas also had a cut in the booty)  but also of us, the tax paying public.  Or – given the stupid way they forged documents and drew out contracts, they actually thought they were dealing with a nation of morons.  Such amateurs!   No wonder they got caught.  I do wonder how the smarter and more intelligent folk who have their hands in the galla(till)  go about it!   These morons diverted 750,000 crores, how much money must the uncaught intelligent ones have diverted.  Where have they diverted it to?  Can I go with a bag there and collect some?

Sorry Godji, I will do penance for this immoral thought, but it is sooooo tempting

Its okay to be moralistic and bemoan our national pride being flushed down the gutter.  I think all of us do feel – in our own way – our collective shame.

But (since I have an evil but practical mind) I do wish I had not educated my sons for the careers they have chosen …. I wish I had sent them into sarkari naukris, in positions where they had the opportunity to make such money.  Then I would have been justified in saying CWG ka matlab hai : Crores in my Wallet and Ghar

Sexism and Sports Part 2

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I don’t know about any one else but I am appalled by the recent scandal in Indian Hockey. Apparently coach Kaushik was under the impression that the entire team was his harem and he was at liberty to proposition them, molest them, use them for his pleasure as it suited him. We have been hearing time and again of the sorry state of affairs in national sports – what with players being made to wash the floors of the officials rooms, fetching water in pails for the coach etc etc, and the blatant disregard that the officials and the Sports Ministry treat these rumors with. Sports Authority of India has appointed a coterie of its own flunkies to examine the charge. Its a bloody joke!

I am not a political person. Heck I dont know the rights and wrongs of the matter at all, but I feel that the officials exist only because there are people willing to play and win matches. The sad thing is that most of these athletes come from rural and weaker economic backgrounds and they don’t speak up. If they do, their career is over, thanks to these very officials.

In Ahmedabad, another coach of the SAI Centre at Gandhinagar threw out 11 tribal girls who were from rural areas and did not know anything apart from hockey, without any explanation or even informing their school and parents This was just a day after the sexual harassment case being headlined. As usual the coach and the Sports Authority of India are unavailable to answer to allegations.

You know what I think? I think the Sports Ministry and the officials think they can do what they please. They treat simple courtesy, humanity, law, media and such like things as jokes.

Sports is all about nationalism, discipline and pride for the country. This has been badly subverted.

All this is happening just as the Commonwealth Games are about to begin. I only hope our country does not fall flat on its face – in spite of the officials going out of their way to ensure that it does.

Sexism and sport

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I recieved this tweet from @bhogleharsha

pietersen says cricket is not for girls.so desperately sexist.must get off high horse.women far stronger than men in life
.

Really sweet of Harsha, but men like him are far and few … especially in the realm of IPL and Indian sports.  Now, lemme tell you a story

Is kahaani mein young girls hain … cricket hai aur IPL ka ek team hai.

Now this team is web savvy, puts up contests and other sundry friendly face offs to involve youth and increase its fan base.  These girls are big big fans of a batsman nicknamed as a construction edifice due to his steady batting.  They love him ….

Love Hurts

Last year one of the young girls and one boy were tied as finalists on one such competition.  The captain of the IPL team was to take a call.  He chose the boy, the reason being

“You’re good, but boys are stronger, have more endurance, can work late in the night and are more hard working”

Excuse me while I puke.  Ask the damn captain to endure labor pains, or even thread facial hair and wax his underarms.  Ask the damn captain to put in as much hard work in a day as a working woman puts in, both at home and outside.  The only thing in which the girls lack is muscular strength, and this is not weight lifting dammit!!!

Any how, the girls persisted.  Ahhhh the folly and optimism of youth!  They entered the competitions this year too. They made it to the semi finals and then, they lost.  No, not because they were not good.  Because the organizers lost their entries.

Thank you IPL team for helping the girls grow up.  Thank you IPL team for proving to all girls in India that they have no place in sport, especially IPL  apart from shaking their tush as cheerleaders.  Thank you IPL team for making us women of India feel inferior.

I am sure you guys think that since we are already used to it, we should roll over and tolerate some more crap dished out by retrosexual males.

Gosh!  I hate this!!!

Edited to add :

News item today : A young woman co-pilot of a Jet Airways Sharjah-Kochi flight made an emergency landing in the wee hours of Thursday after the commander took ill mid-air.
Oh really?!  It was her job dammit!  And she’s trained for it.  What else will make news?  Male stroller molested by girls on the prowl for their morning walk?

Sheesh!

If you would like to read more about the incident , please head over to a blog post by a person who witnessed this incident

A fine balancing act, but next time let’s please the girls too


My Hero! I love Shah Rukh Khan

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1.  He has the cutest boyish smile – and the twinkle in his eyes Oooooh!  I normally go for the hot muscular bodies but something about the guy just works for me.

2. He is non-filmy and comes through as fairly grounded – even though he is this huge larger-than-life hero

3. He is a good father and a family man

4.  Oh Did I mention his good looks? ~ never mind, it can be repeated

5. He’s versatile, like the papplu that makes the winning hand.  You can pair him with any leading lady from Kajol and Shilpa to Anoushka and voila – you have a hit

6.  You can watch him in brooding intense roles as the hockey coach of a woman’s team and it works, you can watch him as a shy dude or a cold and unscrupulous Don, it works

7.  Oh did I mention the boyish dimpled smile – oh I did – never mind

8.  He is from Delhi and that is nice

9. He proudly proclaims that he is a Joru Ka Gulam, that is so refreshing!  He comes through as humane and normal.  Either he is a damn good actor or is genuinely grounded and balanced.

10. But most of all I love him for the way he has refused to back down in face of the bully boy tactics of Raj Thackeray and his tribe.

I love his Badshahi Andaaz here

Article from Bollyspice

This is Shah Rukh Khan‘s request to those threatening to stop the screening in India of his latest movie My Name is Khan releasing next week. At the London press conference on Wednesday, King Khan was quizzed about his stand and candidly spoke about it. “As a Hindi film hero who’s given an iconic status, it scares me to say anything. Our stakes are very high. I want to apologize to Karan Johar, Kajol and the MNIK team because what I say and believe is going to affect their work and I have no idea how to change that.”

His recent comments supporting Pakistani cricketers playing in India has cause right-wing organisation Shiv Sena to threaten the screening of his film in Mumbai. They have even burnt effigies of the actor as well as Aamir Khan who has the same stand.

In the past although his colleagues have apologised to Shiv Sainiks, Shah Rukh has a different approach to it. “I really don’t know what the issue is about and what do I need to apologise for. Am I supposed to retract to I’m an Indian but I don’t want anyone to come to my country?”

This incident has also affected Shah Rukh emotionally. “When a film releases, you are tensed but highly excited and I work for that excitement. But this time I am just sad and it is not jetlag.”

Amitabh and Jaya Bacchan apologised, Karan Johar apologised.  I never understood why.   But Shah Rukh took a stand!  I truly love and respect him for this!