Tag Archives: Adult Comedy

And if I were a man!

Posted on by
27

Indyeah gave me rave reviews on her blog!  Thanks girl!!!!

And she tagged me to think like a man; and compile a wishlist of the lovely ladies I would eye lustfully lovingly.

Well I know how men think!  I have two sons who are frank and think I am buddy.  They say anything in front of me!

So for all intents and purposes for this blog post I am a man!

Sigh!  So many ladies I would love to get intimate with!

*Scratch my ahem … butt and settle down to list em*

And here’s my wishlist, compliled ever so lustfully

drewWhat can I say?  Never did understand size zero obsessions!  A guy does like his hands full.  Them tits are awesome!  Drew Barrymore really fits the bill.

Angelina Jolie

angelina1

Those lips were made for kissing!  Plus she is athletic.  A guy would love a romp in the hay which is dirty, passionate and athletic!  Angelina would be the perfect choice.

Preity Zinta

preityJust look at that balcony!  She is a busty girl, and that is soo nice.  Cleavages on girls is an emminently desirable thing.  Plus Mommys dont object to nice girls with dimples.  Best of both worlds what?!!!

Kiera Knightley

kiera

Just picture the girl on a rope, just picture the rope in a bed room, just picture the swinging night ….. I think you get the picture!  ;)

Catherine Zeta Jones

zetaWhat can I say?  Latino, sexy, hot!!!!

Jessica Biel

jessicaThis is one drop dead gorgeous babe, one would love to love and never ever get into a fight with – that is – if you did not want to be punched in the …..

Hard core fighter, in your face, hot!

Scarlett Johansson

scarlettShe has oomph!  Athletic, most definitely has the stamina of an ox!!!  So she goes on the lust list

Penelope Cruise

cruzShe is sensual, sultry ….. and Oooooh!  She can cook!  Unbeatable combo

Anne Hathaway

anneShe makes it into the list because she has kissable lips.  So does Angelina Jolie.  Heyyyy wait a minute, so does Preity and …… Oh forget it – whateva!

Saved the best for the last

Michelle Rodrigues

michelle

The bad girl a guy would like to do bad things with!!  She can kick ass, she can play fast, she can be downright dirty.  In short she can drive a man insane!

Phew!!!

Done the tag !

Hope my sons dont read this post!

Maxine for World President

Posted on by
17

Dontcha just love her?  

Like A.R. Rehman she never goes stale …….

att3

1.My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn’t. 

 

2.I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. 

 

3..Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them. 

 

4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. 

 

5.. Don’t take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

 

6.. You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me. 

 

7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. 

 

8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe. 

 

9.. I’m not a complete idiot — Some parts are just missing. 

 

10..Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. 

att4

 

11.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine. 

 

12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many. 

 

13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine. 

 

14..Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. 

 

15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? 

 

16..Being ‘over the hill’ is much better than being under it! 

 

17. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up 

 

18.. Procrastinate Now! 

 

19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That? 

 

20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes. 

 

21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

 

22.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere! 

 

23..They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken. 

att5

 

24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.

 

26.. Ham and eggs…A day’s work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. 

 

27..The trouble with life is there’s no background music. 

 

28..The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson. 

 

29.. I smile because I don’t know what the hell is going on. 

and of course the 30th

Sometimes I think Maxine should run for president.  She was right on with this one! 


 

Everyone concentrates on the problems we’re having in this country lately:

 illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, alligators attacking people in Florida … 

 

Not me. I concentrate on solutions for the problems. It’s a win-win situation. 

atta

 

+ Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border. 

 

+ Send the dirt to New Orleans to raise the level of the levies. 

 

+ Put the Florida alligators in the moat along the Mexican border. 

 

Any other problems you would like for me to solve today ?  Yes  ? 

 

Think about this one: 

 

1. Cows 

2. The Constitution 

3. The Ten Commandments   

 

C O W S   

 

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow

 born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington?

And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country.

 Maybe we should give each of them a cow.   

 

T H E    C O N S T I T U T I O N   

 

They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq   …. Why don’t we just give them ours?

It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we’re not using it anymore.   

 

T H E   1 0    C O M M A N D M E N T S   

 

The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this: 

You cannot post ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal,’ ‘Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,’ and ‘Thou Shall Not Lie’ in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians… It creates a hostile work environment. (Loved this one … :) )