The Death of The Monster

Thanks Blogadda for selecting this post as Spicy Saturday Pick

There once was a prince. He would have never got to rule the kingdom since there were too many princes between him and the throne. But that did not bother him much. He wanted to rule the hearts and imaginations of the people of his clan. In these days of electronic media, that was far better a franchise than just sitting on a throne. Even that was not an original idea; a certain princess of an island nation had aspired to and become the “Princess of Hearts” until she died when her car crashed in a tunnel. That princess was beautiful, so it was easy for her.

But he was a tribesman, not too hot in the looks department. Becoming Prince of Hearts was not exactly his cup of tea. So he decided to do something different. He sought to destroy egos. That would hurt and that would leave a lasting impression. It would be his legacy.

So he took looked around for a soft target, among the land of unbelievers. He zeroed on a nation that was egotistical, overfed and pompous. The infidel ruler of the nation, who people called Potus was so full of shit. He kept talking about national pride and convinced his people that his nation was untouchable. The prince gathered around him some tribesmen who were restless.

“I am bored” they complained.

“You wanna do something fun? It’s risky and can cost you your life?” he asked.

“Yeah, why not?” said some of them. Others dropped out. They weren’t that bored!

So he got them to fly planes into the totemic symbols of the proud nation’s pride.

BOOM! CRASH!!!!

Citizens died in the crash, the proud nation wept.

The prince became famous. He, like Gabbar Singh, became the monster mothers scared their kids with if they did not drink their milk or sleep at bed time.

The proud nation peed in its pants, just like Golaith’s supporters when David took him down with a slingshot. It realized that it was not untouchable. It also realized that other countries hated it. The nation did not like that. It dethroned its ruler and crowned another Potus.

This Potus knew that he needed to stop posturing and prove a point. He had to kill monsters. Like all corporate honchos, he had to show results.

He befriended other rulers, some of them simply so that he gained knowledge about where these monsters lived. Meanwhile whispers maligned this Potus too. Some thought he was weak, others thought he was soft. Still others distrusted him. He got worried, he could get dethroned like the last Potus and become a joke on late night talk shows. His wife and daughters would not like that!

He consulted his trusted aide, a sorceress with more ice in her veins than blood. She went online with her crystal ball.

“King, here you are in trouble, and the monster that destroyed our totem pole was found living a cushy retired life with his youngest wife”

“So what do you suggest Sorceress?”

“This monster destroyed your slanderers loved ones. He killed them. He destroyed our pride. If you kill him, Potus, all will be forgiven.”

“So what’s the problem? Kill him!”

The sorceress said, “Potus, please sit down. You are not going to like this!”

“Tell me!” he said, unable to sit down because of anxiety.

“We already have him dead. We just did not tell people.”

“Why?”

“What with Wikileaks and the unstable economy, there just wasn’t the right time.”

Potus peered into the crystal ball. All he could see was grey images. “Why doesn’t Google color them?” he grumbled.

“We don’t own Google, Potus. And stop grumbling. There is more!”

He sighed and said “Tell me!”

“Thing is, we did not kill him. He got irritable, living in seclusion for so long. His tribesmen and sons were also having a bad case of cabin fever. There was a shoot out and they killed each other. We can’t claim the glory”

“Damn! Now what do we do?”

“The monster was given shelter by our vassal nation. You need to threaten the vassal nation with retribution and allow them to let us fly by the monster’s castle and create a huge noise. They will agree”

“How dare they shelter our enemies!”

“Never mind that, we can squash them like a bug. They’re already scared and will agree to sell their mothers right now”

Potus smiled, understanding what the sorceress was saying. “You must have been a good queen to your Potus, sorceress”

“Thank you Potus. Yes I was, but he always played around and got caught with his pants down eventually”

So on a fateful Sunday, when the nation woke up, they got the news that the monster had been killed. Doctored gory pictures of the monster were shown to the nation that danced and celebrated. His decomposed body was thrown into the sea to avoid any controversies.

The tribesmen mourned their prince, who had hurt the proud nation and brought it down to its infidel knees.

But a strange thing happened. The Potus and the Prince both had similar names, with just a letter that was different. To some, they both appeared similar. Both had taken steps to kill, maim and destroy to keep their name shining. Both had crossed lines to destroy pride of the other. One’s motive was controversial; the other’s method gave rise to conspiracy theories.

They say the monster is dead. Really? Which monster?

Say a little prayer

Ever heard the song “Say a little prayer”? Its one of my favorites. Mostly because it is something I identify with completely. My relationship with the Higher Being, Godji, the Divine is just as simple as that – the force is with me, for me and my buddy, my support. This belief makes things so simple, so whenever I am low, wounded, bruised or hurt, all I have to do is “say a little prayer” and I know that I am not alone. I will get the support, see the way out. Its better than having to visit the temple, it is better than having a buddy on speed dial, it is even better than punching pillows and slamming doors. The temple bells don’t have such a soothing effect, the chanting of mantras does not help me as much as just whispering, “Please Godji …..”

I was just walking up and down the corridor, tense – no I was actually in a foul temper; I had messed up something pretty bad, and knew the boss would haul me over burning coal … i.e. after I was done kicking myself. Yeah, I am a great one for punishing myself :(

And I was murmuring to myself “Please Godji, help me control damage”

A person tapped me on the shoulder and proceeded to read my a huge lecture on how I could not pray with shoes on and facing south … it may be rahu kalam, had I checked?

I turned, shrugged and walked off. If I had stopped, the argument would have been huge and bitter, I am not one who likes my personal space intruded upon. And I have issues with know-it-alls.

But once I was calmer, crisis sorted out, I started reflecting …

Anyone who has a “prayer habit” must have pondered on this, “What is the difference between personal prayer and ritual prayer? Why the difference?”

In ritual prayer, we pray at fixed times, in prescribed manner from fixed texts, most of them unchanged over the centuries. Day after day, so many of us mumble the same set stanzas, lips moving, minds uninvolved ….

How can we reconcile that with the intensely personal character of prayer?

Should not prayer be simple, just me talking to whoever I think is my God? Should I not have my own personal equation with the divine?

Traditionalists argue with this belief. They have been brought up with rituals, the ritualistic repetition of mantras/stanzas/prayers in language not understood/chants are soothing to them.

To me, it seems mindless (when I am feeling charitable) and when I am not, it seems like one is pestering or badgering the divine.

To me, the personal prayer is far more valuable, and it cheers me up, so it is therapeutic.

What do you think?

Conversation at the breakfast table

Conversation on a breakfast table

Ishaan : Ma did you see my comment on your blog

Me : smirking into my bowl of oats : And did you read what Desi Girl replied?

DIL : Singing : Desi Girl, my Desi Girl

Ishaan : What did she write?

Me : Read it, my memory is bad!

I go to get oats refill and spill some

DIL : Yeah kya kiya Mom?

Me : Singing : Jo Bhi Kiya, Humne Kiya, Shaan Se

Mercifully dogs are tone deaf and greedy, the oats were licked clean off the floor.

DIL and I get busy packing our lunch boxes and she leaves

Ishaan : Back after responding to my last two posts : Bet you’ll delete my comment. And what is with you, why are you writing such anti male posts?

Me : (Trying a lecherous look which failed miserably) I can’t write anti male posts, I love men too much

Ishaan : (Not noticing my wannabe lech look) Don’t write issue based posts. As it is, you are a novelist not a blogger.

Sigh, I need to practice getting that look right, its gonna gross out the famiglia totally ….

Me : What’s wrong in being both? Besides, my posts are balanced, I am not a male basher.

Ishaan : All your lead characters in your novels are strong females.

Me : They don’t kick men’s arses, if anything they fall in love with men and kiss them.

Ishaan : Blog about modern women who have the attitude, instead of being a crybaby!

Me : (Me a crybaby?! No way) You do that, you have a blog too

I came to work to find that he had

So had IHM

My work here is done

Patriarchy and the fear of the feminine

There is a deep rooted fear of the feminine in the male psyche.  This fact has been noted and observed by many eminent psychologists.  Men fear women and this is the root cause of gender wars, this is an established fact.  Our psyche has been shaped by ancient religious books.  The Bible shaped the western world, and it was a documentation of the times that existed a thousand years ago.  Under the Torah and the Talmud, gender roles as ascribed to men and women were rigid, those prescribed norms define the western culture.  Our gender roles have been defined by Manu Smriti and the world as Moses saw …

The point is that should be define ourselves by age worn concepts and tattered parchments belonging to a time long ago?

It has not brought any peace and happiness to both the genders.

“Traditional gender roles” were not written by God.  They were the best way to survive in times of the ancient Israelites and the ancient Hindus at the time of Manu.

They instilled a fear in men of the female principle.

I feel that men are more affected by this than women.  The reason is that women are fighting not within their minds but against the fetters of outdated restrictions that chain them.  Their fight is outward.  Men are fighting in their minds.  First, is the process of dis-identifying with the female.  It is a process which male children use to distance themselves from their mothers, the breast they suckle upon.  This leads to their negating their own feminine side.

Then they try to fit in and become capable of achieving their traditional gender role, that of success, power and restricted emotionality.  It is strenuous, it is harsh.  They can not even cry when they hurt.  It is not “appropriate” behavior.  So they fight or attack when they actually want to shed tears and express pain.  In their minds they equate emotional intimacy, vulnerability and emotional dependency as weakness.

Carl Jung observed this and in his papers (1953-54) coined a term “anima” which he said represented the feminine side of men, the part they did not allow to integrate into their personalities easily.  Another eminent psychologist Horney said “men dread women and attempt to distance themselves from the feminine”

Why do they do that?

The reason is evident.  Any soft and emotional boy will be beaten up by bullies in a school play ground.  Men trying to be feminine will be subjected to harsh punishment for betrayal of their gender role.  This is how patriarchic society functions.

And why does patriarchic society fear the feminine?

First, it does not want power to devolve to women.  Its role would be over if that happens.  They fear the stronger instinct to survive, the child bearing capabilities and the multiple orgasms women have.  There was no effective method of contraception or abortion.  So just like ancient man tamed earth to plant food, ancient man built walls and put the women in those fenced walls, as mothers, sisters, daughters, so that he would not have to feed children not born out of his sperm.  Virginity also became a desired virtue for the aforementioned reasons.

And women who did not conform became subject to derogatory terms (all dealing with their sexuality) like slut, whore, chudail, raandh etc.

We live in times when we know that characteristics like emotional awareness, the new term E.Q. (emotional quotient) etc. do not belong just to women.  Men have it too. The masculine ideal with its purported fear of feminine characteristics and the potential collateral fear of women seems to be outdated.  We need to evolve now.

Even if our patriatchic society sanctions some horrible things, I would like to state the following :

Women own their bodies, those are not to be subject to rape (as a method of controlling them).  Women and their bodies should not be subject to derogatory terms, and women are persons, not repositories of clan or family honor.  So let us end these honor killings, the suppression, the violence against women.  All men display when they indulge is such behavior is how deep rooted their sense of inadequacy, their fear of the feminine is.

I really wish that within my lifetime, men learn to integrate their feminine side and be comfortable with it.  It would be the first step towards destruction of the patriarchal society

How much is a housewife worth

Does any one remember the controversy that happened last year during census?

 

The Supreme Court, in a stinging ruling, questioned the government’s Census parameters which place housewives and women engaged in domestic work in the same economic bracket as “prostitutes, beggars and prisoners”.

 

I started wondering what would be the value placed on a housewife’s work … which is, as of now, unpaid labor

 

Chore Existing Rate per month
Cook 6,000
Driver 5,000
Tutor (all subjects @6,000 per child 12,000
Nurse 10,000
Home manager 30,000
Wardrobe manager 10,000
Pet Sitter 5,000
Safe sex provider 50,000 (at least)
Baby birther (don’t knock it, most families look for a fertile bride) 50,000 (at least)
Mother in law tantrums receiver 1,00,000

 

I think this is a modest estimate.

 

Feel free to add any chore I’ve left out ….

 

Now I would like any male readers I have to this blog to introspect and wonder if they can afford to get married or not.

 

If I have not lost my male readers, I ask them to value their spouses

 

If I’ve pissed them off – they are welcome to troll the comment section.  I reserve the rights to delete any comment which I dont like

 


To my older son’s accusation that this is all male bashing let me clarify, I want a housewife too, I really I really I really want one. I am working hard and hope I can afford one soon. This post is not male bashing, it is about valuing someone who makes the house a home and a group of people a family. I was brought up in a home made by a housewife. Ask Kid#2 how much he misses Naani and you’ll know the stellar role a home maker has, it is irreplaceable.

Link to Prateek Gupta’s spirited retort to this post

Fire Halp!

I have been good.  I have been so good for the last couple of blog posts that I have started to believe that those were written by a stranger.  I mean I miss the old Ritu.  Why the eff have I become so politically correct?

Am I growing old?

I am all for the kids doing their own thing and letting elderly me relax on my bed with my lap top.  Age and growing feeble is an asset, which should be used properly.  It can be really advantageous.

It makes the kids deal with crisis responsibly

Which is just what they did when a switchboard caught fire upstairs in the night.  They let me sleep happily downstairs while they combated the fire …. the best they could.

Apparently Kid#1 and DIL were just going to bed when there was an electrical fire.

Kid#1 tried to gently fan it away with a towel.

DIL snatched the towel away and stomped it down with all her might.

Kid#2, who woke up due to the commotion, stood blankly watching the fire, half asleep.

The two male dogs also reacted strangely.  The dacshund, Piper was so scared that he needed therapy.  He slept the night in DIL’s bed, clinging to her.

Baron, our german shephard sat watching the commotion dumbly.

Jeannie our female german shephard growled and barked at the fire, trying to scare it away.

DIL came down for her morning cup of milk and told me

“You know there was a fire last night”

Me : Whaaaat?  When, where??

DIL : I put it out.  It was me who ordered both your sons to get the towels.  Even then, they were being so gentle.  I snatched the towel from their hands and stomped the fire away.

Me : My God!

…. and I rushed to see it.

She told me how the dogs reacted … and how the men did.

Females of any species are far more alert and pro-active, even if we snarl and bark at dangers, even if our mode of action is not the ideal one.  Yeah!

But the last line has to be Kid#1′s

Oye!  Stop bragging.  I was the one who turned off the mains!

All said and done … females rock

And another thing …. do you think its time I retire???  I can, you know.  She can take care of my two boys well ….

 

 

About the Lokpal Bill

1. Who is Anna Hazare?
An ex-army man. Fought 1965 Indo-Pak War

2. What’s so special about him?
He built a village Ralegaon Siddhi in Ahamad Nagar district, Maharashtra

3. So what?
This village is a self-sustained model village. Energy is produced in the village itself from solar power, biofuel and wind mills.
In 1975, it used to be a poverty stricken village. Now it is one of the richest village in India. It has become a model for self-sustained, eco-friendly & harmonic village.

 

4. Ok,…?
This guy, Anna Hazare was awarded Padma Bhushan and is a known figure for his social activities.

5. Really, what is he fighting for?
He is supporting a cause, the amendment of a law to curb corruption in India.

6. How that can be possible?
He is advocating for a Bill, The Lok Pal Bill (The Citizen Ombudsman Bill), that will form an autonomous authority who will make politicians (ministers), bureaucrats (IAS/IPS) accountable for their deeds.

7. It’s an entirely new thing right..?
In 1972, the bill was proposed by then Law minister Mr. Shanti Bhushan. Since then it has been neglected by the politicians and some are trying to change the bill to suit their theft (corruption).
8. Oh.. He is going on a hunger strike for the passing of a Bill ! How can that be possible in such a short span of time?
The first thing he is asking for is: the government should come forward and announce that the bill is going to be passed.

Next, they make a joint committee to DRAFT the LOK PAL BILL. 50% goverment participation and 50% public participation. Because you cant trust the government entirely for making such a bill which does not suit them.

9. Fine, What will happen when this bill is passed?
A LokPal will be appointed at the centre. He will have an autonomous charge, say like the Election Commission of India. In each and every state, Lokayukta will be appointed. The job is to bring any and all alleged parties to trial in case of corruptions within 1 year. Within 2 years, the guilty will be punished. Not like, Bofors scam or Bhopal Gas Tragedy case, that has been going for last 25 years without any result.

10. Is he alone? Who else is there in the fight with Anna Hazare?
Baba Ramdev, Ex. IPS Kiran Bedi, Social Activist Swami Agnivesh, RTI activist Arvind Kejriwal and many more.

Prominent personalities like Aamir Khan is supporting his cause.

11. Ok, got it. What can I do?
At best : accompany him on a chain hunger strike.
At worst : spread the message – put status message, links, video, changing profile pics

 

 

Salient features of Jan Lokpal Bill :
Drafted by Justice Santosh Hegde, Prashant Bhushan and Arvind Kejriwal, this Bill has been refined on the basis of feedback received from public on website and after series of public consultations. It has also been vetted by and is supported by Shanti Bhushan, J M Lyngdoh, Kiran Bedi, Anna Hazare etc. It was sent to the PM and all CMs on 1st December.
An institution called LOKPAL at the centre and LOKAYUKTA in each state will be set up  Like Supreme Court and Election Commission, they will be completely independent of the governments. No minister or bureaucrat will be able to influence their investigations. Cases against corrupt people will not linger on for years anymore: Investigations in any case will have to be completed in one year. Trial should be completed in next one year so that the corrupt politician, officer or judge is sent to jail within two years. The loss that a corrupt person caused to the government will be recovered at the time of conviction.
How it will help a common citizen: If any work of any citizen is not done in prescribed time in any government office, Lokpal will impose financial penalty on guilty officers, which will be given as compensation to the complainant.
So, you can approach Lokpal if your ration card or passport or voter card is not being made or if police is not registering your case or any other work is not being done in prescribed time. Lokpal will have to get it done in a month’s time. You could also report any case of corruption to Lokpal like ration being siphoned off, poor quality roads been constructed or panchayat funds being siphoned off. Lokpal will have to complete its investigations in a year, trial will be over in next one year and the guilty will go to jail within two years.

But wont the government appoint corrupt and weak people as Lokpal members? That wont be possible because its members will be selected by judges, citizens and constitutional authorities and not by politicians, through a completely transparent and participatory process.

 

What if some officer in Lokpal becomes corrupt? The entire functioning of Lokpal/ Lokayukta will be completely transparent. Any complaint against any officer of Lokpal shall be investigated and the officer dismissed within two months.
What will happen to existing anti-corruption agencies? CVC, departmental vigilance and anti-corruption branch of CBI will be merged into Lokpal. Lokpal will have complete powers and machinery to independently investigate and prosecute any officer, judge or politician.
PLEASE CIRCULATE THIS WIDELY…this effort of educated people like you and me may perhaps be a drop in the ocean but i guess the time has come for educated and the “so-called liberated Indians” to take a stand for the future of our great country…!!!!

 

 

If you think this made some difference to you then you can probably do more by

 

Signing the online petetion – http://www.petitiononline.com/lokpal/petition.html..

OR

You can give just a missed call. Yes a missed call. By giving a missed call to India Against Corruption(founded by Anna Hazare, Kiran Bedi, JM Limdhoh) at 022-61550789, you can join this movement to fight against corruption.

My tryst with destiny makers

The whole nation watched with bated breath while Anna Hazare, a rank outsider in Lutyen’s Delhi, a person who had neither the political backing or the political lineage came to Jantar Mantar to fast for the Jan Lokpal bill, something that politicians lacked the will to see through.  At first there was just Anna and few supporters.  The cynics sniggered.

But something about this man captured the imagination of middle and upper middle class.  The people who know that they would have to shell out 5 lakhs and above to get a job, even though they had qualifications.  The people who know that even to claim their PF or insurance, even to get some licences which they deserve, they will have to pay a bribe.  These are the people who want a corruption free India, because they are directly affected.  And the crowd grew.

I was cynical about it.  Until I saw that this man and his followers did not allow politicians to hijack the movement.  Until some politicians were shooed away, so that they did not tarnish the citizen movement.  I wanted to witness this, imbibe the atmosphere of the place.  Last night, Anna and the Government reached an agreement.  But that did not deter me.  I went today to Jantar Mantar.  I am so glad I did.

The energy of the place was unbelievable.  I echo Wordsworth here

Bliss it was that day to be alive

But to be young was very heaven

Who is this young mother and her children?

 

She is just a person like you and me.  She wants a better country where she won’t pay exhorbitant bribes to get what is rightfully hers and her family’s.

When I reached there, Anna Hazare had already broken his fast.  I did not get to see him.  I saw Swami Agnivesh and Kiran Bedi.  And I saw people who were celebrating.  Someone came and put a chandan tilak on me.  Then another person came and gave me a tiny piece of laddu.  A third handed me a glass of water.  Some one came and put a lal tilak on me.  There was joy all around.  Near the stage people were dancing the bhangra to the Lokpal song LOL!

Even though it is tough to dance the bhangra to Lokpal, Lokpal, Pass Karo Yeh Lokpal!

I went further and was made to sign a whole lot of signature campaigns and given a lot of paper, still have to read those things.

This is one of the banners I signed.  If you look closely, you will see pen marks on it.

Brand Indian Protest Clothes ,,,,,,,,  Young people were wearing the flag and protest banners.  They were getting flags signed by people.

And of course the havan mandap in which Brashtachar was being symbolically burnt

And an artist was soaking in the atmosphere and painting his impressions of the event

and this one looks like Sharad Pawar but I don’t know what the artist wanted to do … he was still painting

At any given time, you see beggars and eve teasers in CP.  I did not see any at Jantar Mantar.  What I witnessed was throngs of people coming, congratulating each other, walking around happily and then leaving.  Some people came from far off, folk were there from Jammu even, they were organizing a bus to go back.  And of course little kids wearing “I am Anna” caps.  They looked adorable but could not take a pic, they would not stay still.

Then in the evening we organized a candle match in our town

It was fun.  I felt as though we were doing something worthwhile

Do I think the Lokpal Bill will make a difference?

Well, frankly it has.  It has given a platform for fighting corruption.  But more than that, what it has done is this … It got the middle class out on the street, it gave the youth a voice.  If something captures the imagination of the youth, it brings about change.  They are uncompromising and they are idealistic.  And they are impatient.

J. P. Narayan woke them up once, but the nation failed to capitalize it … happened a long time ago.

Abhi picture baaki hai, mere dost!

 

Arrogant …. Hmph!

There is a certain group of people who think I am arrogant.

So far so good.  I don’t care a rats arse what any other person’s opinion of me is.  I ain’t here to make friends and influence people.  I am here to live my life the best I can, still being myself.  Yes, the so called “arrogant” myself.

It started bothering me when people close to me got brainwashed into concurring with this person(s)

Or did they agree with this person(s)?

Now that was an uncomfortable thought.

So I started researching the term arrogant ….

Dictonary.com says that arrogance is

offensive display of superiority or self-importance; overbearing pride.  It gives synonyms like haughtiness, insolence, disdain.

That does not fit too well.

Urban dictionary says :

When a person is led to believe that they are in some way more superior to everybody else. Pride is fine up until a point, but as soon as you believe that you are in some special way better than everybody else, you become a dickhead.

and

Someone who is full of and thinks very highly of him/herself.

Oye hello!  This is why I blog!  Because I am so full of myself!

But I beg to differ.

I am sorry, people close to me, I do not have arrogance, I have pride.  This pride comes out of living my life and recognizing my own worth.  I have pride that I have borne the brunt of responsibilities that could have crippled lesser people.  I have the pride of a person who has been earning her own keep and supporting others since the age of 18.

I also know one important thing, something I have learnt in life.  People try to undermine other peoples’ self esteem by calling them loser, wuss, and even arrogant, so that the person can be brought down a few notches – so much easier to use, abuse, manipulate and humiliate.

I am not arrogant; I am just an insolent person who knows her own self worth and does not want to be used or manipulated.  This is a woman, too full of herself and will not change.  Burn if you must, but that is me.  This “ME” was born out of 50 years of walking this earth.  I ain’t gonna change it to suit your purpose. I wont be manipulated!

People criticize because they lack self esteem themselves.  They need to take cheap shots at others, because they themselves feel insecure.

So, people close to me, please grow more responsible and better human beings yourself.  Stop being a burden on others, live life on your own terms.  Be free!  If you do that, you will not feel the need to take cheap shots at others.

Arrogant, as per Urban dictionary, also means

A person who’s insecurity is disguised as confidence. Mostly in cases of taunting.

 

I think it fits your profile.

 

So “Arrogant” who?????