A plea – Let me sulk!

Somewhere along the line in this life, I seem to have given everyone the impression that I am too cheerful a person.  May be that is because the default expression on my face is a smile.  Well, that is because I find frowning takes too much energy.

But on a boring dull Saturday like this I want to be a grouch!

Sigh!

But that is so hard!

I walk into the house just wanting to go into my room and sulk …

DIL : (With a smile) Hellow!  How was office?

Me : Grmph!

Kid#1 : (Cheerily) Aur moti! Kee haal chaal?

Me : Creeping into my room : Mmmmph

Kid#2 : (Settled on my bed, watching TV) Yo Momma! ‘Sup? Ready for the weekend?

Me : (Giving up) Just wanna lie down a bit.  Can you turn off the TV and the light?

Kid#2 : Rubbish! Its Saturday night and you’re still young!  Partay!!!!

Me : Throwing myself on the bed with a frown …

All three galvanized into action

DIL : Boss given you a hard time?  Poor Ma! Shall we order take away?

Kid#1 : Here’s a vodka and orange juice.  I’ll make some chicken momos.  Just the kind you love.

Sigh!

I really wanted to sulk, groan and bitch ….

But its so hard to do that with a glass of vodka and a plateful of chicken momos made with so much love.

I know, I know

I’m spoilt

But before I can preen or count myself as blessed, I must remind myself …

They are probably congratulating themselves on the awesome bit of strategy they played on averting a huge “Poor tired and miserable Ma” sort of drama that I can stage.

Damn!

 

 

Blowing my own trumpet

Got this comment to my last post

 

Hi
Congratulations! The Directory of Best Indian Blogsis out and your nice blog figures in that. We thought, let’s announce that to you.
Since all blogs do not have emails clearly mentioned, we have taken the liberty of telling you of this by making a comment on your latest blogpost. Hope, you don’t mind it.
Happy blogging!

ITB team

 

 

 

Tolerance or Weakness?

Shakti aur Kshama (Strength and Mercy)
Poet: Ramdhari Singh “Dinkar”

Kshama, daya, tap, tyaag, manobal
Sabka liya sahara
Par nar vyagh Suyodhan tumse
Kaho kahan kab haara?

Mercy, resolve, tact, tolerance
You’ve tried everything and some
But o my king of men
When did Suyodhan succumb?

Kshamasheel ho rrpu-saksham
Tum huye vineet jitna hi
Dusht Kauravon ne tumko
Kaayar samjha utna hi

The more forgiving you were
In your humane compassion
The more these rouge Kauravas
Pegged you as cowardly ashen

Atyachar sahan karne ka
Kufal yahi hota hai
Paurush ka aatank manuj
Komal hokar khota hai

This is the consequence
Of tolerating atrocities
The awe of machismo is lost
When one’s gentle n kindly

Kshama shobhti us bhujang ko
Jiske paas garal hai
Uska kya jo dantheen
Vishrahit vineet saral hai

Forgiveness is becoming of
The serpent that’s got venom
None cares for the toothless,
Poisonless, kind, gentle one

Teen divas tak panth mangte
Raghupati sindhu kinare
Baithey padhtey rahey chhand
Anunay ke pyaare pyaare

For three days Lord Raam kept
Asking the ocean for a passage
Sitting there he petitioned
Using the sweetest words to engage

Uttar mein jab ek naad bhi
Utha nahi saagar se
Uthi adheer dhadhak paurush ki
Aag raam ke shar se

When in response there was
Not a whisper from the sea
A raging fire of endeavor
Rose from Raam’s body

Sindhu deh dhar trahi-trahi
Karta aa gira sharan mein
Charan pooj daasta grrhan ki
Bandha moodh bandhan mein

The ocean took human-form
‘N supplicated to Raam
Touched his feet, was subservient
A slave he had become

Sach poochho to shar mein hi
Basti hai deepti vinay ki
Sandhivachan sampoojya usika
Jisme shakti vijay ki

Truth be told, it’s in the quiver
That lies the gleam of modesty
Only his peace-talk is reputable
Who is capable of victory

Sahansheelta, kshama, daya ko
Tabhi poojta jag hai
Bal ka darp chamakta uskey
Peechhey jab jagmag hai

Tolerance, forgiveness and clemency
Are respected by the world
Only when the glow of strength
From behind it is unfurled

 

Dear People in charge of feeding and housing Kasab, dear people in charge of preaching tolerance when the Chinese threat is escalating at our borders, dear people in charge of my country’s foreign policy, please pause and consider.

We are not judged for our intentions, but for our actions.

I did not write the poem I have quoted above, or translated it.  Dinkar wrote this wonderful poem and  I got the an excellent translation of it from here.  It is a poem that is taught in every school in this country. I read it as a girl.  It taught me valuable lessons in life.  I want you to read it and reflect …

No, time for reflection is gone.  I request you to please read and ACT for all our sakes.

Yours

Concerned citizen of a land that is being viewed as a soft target

Delhi Belly, Movie Review

It took me a few days to “get” the double meaning of the song D K Bose, and that too, when my maid looked at Kid#2 humming it to himself and said, “Bhaiyya gaali kyun de rahe ho?”

Damn! Khair I went and changed the hitherto fused bulb in the brain and started pestering famiglia to take me to see the movie.

Saw it on Sunday. What an experience.

As a country we have evolved, at least in the urban set up. We don’t turn a hair on instances of pre marital sex, we don’t get shocked at sexual dialogue. I sincerely hope that moral posturing is on its way out. I hate the holier than thou type of movies.

Well, if you want to see the filthiest bachelor pad ever – Delhi Belly shows you one. It even has a balcony which gives you an amazing view of a pole with more electric wire than you’d ever want to see. And the bathroom – ewww! The chronic water shortage in Delhi also gives opportunity for good laughs. Take a severe case of diarrhea, no water, 4 cartons of orange juice in the fridge and fill in the blanks.

This bachelor pad is shared by Taashi, a journalist (Imran), a photo journalist cum blackmailer Nitin (Kunal Roy Kapoor) and Aroop (Vir Das) a cartoonist who is in love with a girl who dumps him for a NRI groom and hates working for a creative director who is totally unimaginative.

Taashi has a bimbette as his girl friend (Shenaz Treasury) who lands the three in a situation where they are fleeing criminals for three days. It gives ample opportunity for the film makers to show us the city in all its character.

If expletives, potty humor and sexual innuendos don’t freak you out, Delhi Belly is right up your alley. Needless to say, I had a ball. The dialogues are a winner, the acting is good and so is the situational humor.

Honestly, I found Imran’s acting okay but not too hot. Kunal Roy Kapoor as the photojournalist, Nitin, who suffers the most violent case of indigestion ever (all three days of it) as they flee was awesome. Vijay Raaz as the crime boss with a Haryanavi accent was impressive.

But the winner as per me is scriptwriter Akshat Verma, the man who wrote the story of Delhi Belly – and the one liners that stay with you for a long time after the movie.

My sons were impressed, they thought it was a Indian Guy Ritchie movie. Come to think of it, I am impressed too. Never knew that Indian movies could evolve so much, from the staple fare of family dramas to an edgy and whacky movie like this one

New Kid on the Block

This is in response to people who have been asking me why there is no blog post

Folks there are plenty, but all in the head. What with importing people from facebook to Google Plus, logging into yahoo mail and finding that I had 58 unread messages … from people I think I knew at a point. I must have known them right? Otherwise why would they be on my mail list?

I wonder why we migrate from one social networking site to another … circa 2000 BC everyone was on My Space, then mass exodus happened. We found Orkut. Then it became uncool and we shifted en masse to Facebook, now every one is clambering on to Google Plus.

A bit weird considering that we meet the same dudes at all these places.

The world view is shifting. Soon we shall have a world in which the most dangerous parental threat would be

“YOU STOP DOING THAT RIGHT NOW, OR I WILL TWEET YOUR BEHAVIOR”

and the poor kid would die rather than let his timeline know about his unacceptable behavior.

An awesome image of the virtual sky line today

Uff yeh duniya ….

And then when one wants to opt out and spend more time in the real world … one finds that it is dull as ditchwater, and so tame. All the interesting people are online, on one’s time line.

So yes folk, I am on Facebook, Twitter, Yahoo, Google Plus …. and I think my Orkut account still lives on. Havent checked but must still exist.

I am well networked

Some profound questions I had as a child

As a child, I asked a lot of questions. All kids do. My parents played the passing game with me. My mother would say “Go ask Papa” after answering a couple. My father, a great follower of Greek philosophers, aggravated the tendency by answering a question with a question. It was like that funny riddle we asked each other as kids “What maaney kya” (what’s the meaning of what?”) and the other answered “Kya” and you smirked and said “Kya?”

I know, lame one. Forget it!

Then after he tired of it, he would send me right back to my mother.

Yeah some questions …

1. How did the aloo get inside the pakora?

2. If God created us, who created God?

3. When I cry, my nose runs and my eyes swell up and get red. Why doesn’t Meena Kumari’s?
She was my mother’s favorite heroine. God! I had to endure a whole lot of sob movies of hers!

4. Why do grown ups ask stupid questions like :-

a) What is your name?
b) Which class do you study in?
(As if they care!)
c) Who do you love more, Mummy or Papa?
(Why should I answer? I’ll hurt one of them if I’m honest)
d) What do you want to be when you grow up?
(Dude, get a life will you? Will you be around then?)

5. Why did Kabir write so many dohas for us to memorize?

6. Why do I have to close my eyes and pray? Will God swallow my spirit if I look around?

7. When we die, where do we go?

8. I have a mother and father, so does my friend. Does God have parents too? Do they spank him?

9. Why is water wet?

10. Saved this for the last, when I asked this after a couple of weddings in the family. It got me into trouble …
People wear each other’s rings, have pheras and then go into the room. They then have babies. Is it the ring or the pheras?

Lessons of Life

Every one has a formula to live life by … a formula that one alters as one gains experience.  I have tended to jump into things first – learn the lessons later.  Some gyaan that my nature (which I never want to change) has taught me.

1. Talk to yourself.  It is healthy and even if you argue with yourself, you can’t make an enemy.  Say rude things, use the four letter word you always wanted to – to yourself.  You wont get slapped and you cant take offense to it. Besides, you are your own life long companion.

2. Day dream, always.  Its fun, its the mental equivalent of masturbation and its tax free.  Sometimes you may even gain deep wisdom and insights.

3. Religion is not something you are born into.  Religion has to be found, grown out of your own sense of God.  Every one can and should follow their own brand of religion.

4. If you don’t feel a particular religion working for you, change it by all means.  We change clothes, we change and evolve.  Why should our religion be just what people believed in centuries ago?

5. Don’t drink a Pepsi after eating kurkure.  It tastes awful.

6. Every one is mad.  The trick is to discover how to make your particular brand of madness work for you.  If you do, you have it made

7. If you fall in the ditch, look up at the stars.  It sure as hell soothes you down and makes you feel less of an ass.  It may make you feel like getting up and trying again.

8. You are not defeated until you give up.  You’re in the game as long as you keep trying.

9. When in doubt talk to a child.  Kids may not know complex things, but they intuitively know all that matters.

10. You are always in shit.  If two parts of your life are working beautifully, at another level something will always be in deep shit. So stop fretting and concentrate on what works.

11. In continuation to point 10 : “The good old days” is part fiction and part very-bad-memory.  They never happened so concentrate on the present, will ya?

12. When things get tough, there is always booze and music.  And if you have money in the pocket, there is always take out.  It cheers and makes things better.

13. Happiness is not a gift, it is a way of life.  It is a choice.

14. When you feel dead or depressed, do something crazy.  Kiss someone inappropriate, max your credit card, drive on the wrong side of the road. Okay, may be not the last option.  But it sure as hell makes you feel alive.

15. If you fuck up, don’t worry.  We are all here on temporary visa anyway.  Besides mistakes are the best way to learn.

16. Stand on your head and look around you.  Your favorite couch or that dresser looks new from that angle.  For the less agile, look at everything from a different view point.  Makes everything fresh.

17. Nothing matters apart from here and now.  When you are dead, its all finished any way.  Nothing existed before you were born.  So stop being so serious.

18. Boobs are an asset, so is a smile.  Use them … always

19. A kind word does not cost anything.  So don’t minge on compliments.

20. Breathe consciously – at least once a day, or if you can, meditate.

Hey, if you dont agree, learn your own lessons will ya? In any case its all bull shit.

The Slut Walk and Me

I am all for freedom, but along with that comes responsibility.

I am all for gender equality.

But I am a writer by temperament and words to me are tangible living things.  They have power, to change the world, to burn to destroy and to bring happiness.

Being a curious person (and also because I spent most of my student years looking out of windows) I also gaze out of the window when I am driven to office and driven back home.  I see things … (no – not dead people like in that Bruce Willis movie) but I see people when they are at their natural best.

And I can not help wonder …

It is normal to see a guy hold his penis (yes, I will use the word) and urinate on the road, oblivious to the world going to work.  It is a part of his body and he feels no shame about it.  He does not care a damn about peeing on the road either.

Who is the slut here?

It is hard to find a guy not scratching his scrotum in public.  Or even farting or burping in public.  It is hard to find a man restrain himself from scratching his butt.

Who is the slut here?

Thing is that they are proud of their body organs and treat them as just that – body organs.  The functions like burping or farting are also a part of body functions.

They have not been taught to be ashamed of these things or exercise restraint.

I remember my elder son once telling me in shocked tones, “You know, that shop keeper?  He ate his food, rubbed his belly and burped loudly.  I could see a piece of palak in his mouth.  Disgusting”

I remember replying “That is just because he has not been taught better”

In my current frame of mind I feel that may be us women have been taught worse ..

We have been taught to be ashamed of our body functions.  We can not stop a bus for a pee break even though our bladder would burst.  We would die a million shameful deaths before we get the guts to do so.

We will not be caught dead touching our private parts in public.

So why in heaven’s name should we call this march a slut walk?

Words have power.

This is a walk to reclaim our self respect.  To reclaim our own rights over our bodies and the independence to decide what we cover it with.

I can not be a part of a slut walk.

I am not slutty.

What I want to be a part of is a walk of like minded women and men, who acknowledge that a woman has rights over her body, which she can clothe the way she wishes to (within norms of decency).  I want to be a part of a walk of liberated souls who state that a woman’s womb is her own, and she decides when and to how many children she gives birth.  And a walk that awakens the public to the fact that a woman is not a repository of her clan honour, her father/brother/husband’s izzat or pagri.

Any takers for that?

An awesome post “In Defense of Sluts Everywhere”

Role Reversal

Em woke up and stretched languidly and then looked around. Her eyes fell on Y asleep next to her. A well placed nudge in the rear woke up the prone figure. Y quickly hopped out of the bed. A slight frown reminded him of his duties. He quickly scurried towards the kitchen to start the morning repast. The full bladder would have to wait. Relief would come later once Em’s needs were satisfied.

Em looked after the departing figure distastefully. Really Y would have to get his act together. He was failing to excite Em. He was too tame, the thrill was missing. Em was overcome with a strange sense of restlessness. She wanted the thrill, the excitement of the hunt and the taming.

The repast was on the table when Em came out, fully dressed. Y was busy setting the steaming cup of caffeine next to Em’s plate. Em picked up the newspaper to avoid looking at Y’s drab figure. So boring …

Em hastily finished the morning repast and rushed out. In the open she kept its eyes on the road. Soon she spotted him, dressed in shorts and a singlet. What a man! He walked around with his chest thrown out and his butt moving in a very sensual way. His body language said that he was hot and available. He must not be owned by any one.

Well, he was free to be hunted.

She felt a flush of heat in her genitals. My God! She was wet just looking at this man! This was the thrill stupid Y could not give her. That poor creature went overboard to please. It was useful, but not sexually exciting. She wanted the challenge.

Em took a photo of the man on her cellphone. She would look him up, find out all about him. She smiled a huntress’s smile. The thrill was back in her life.

She rang up home. Y picked up the phone.

“Honey I will be late today. Don’t keep dinner for me. Something has come up”

The hunt was on ….

Art and Anarchy

Anarchy comes from the Greek word an = without and arkhos = ruler.

The times we live in with a PM in absentia, and his spokesman Mr. Kapil Sibal’s moronic statement “The PM is a notional concept”. Sheesh, Mr. Sibal, I hope you realize that the votes you get from me is also notional. But then I digress.

What is art? As a creative person, I can safely state that to me my writing, my art is something that helps me express, without any limitation, my mind. Art knows no boundaries. Art is definitely anarchic in nature. To grab eyeballs, to capture the imagination, it has to push beyond safe boundaries, beyond comfort zone.

And creative people soar so high into their own imaginative worlds that it shocks them, surprises them when they see the strong reactions that the fruit of their creativity brings. I am sure Taslima Nasrin found that out to her own horror, so did Salman Rushdie. Stéphane Mallarmé, was once quoted “Je ne sais pas d’autre bombe, qu’un livre.” (I know of no bomb other than a book.) I would say the same about a painting.

I got an email forward today which was Hussain bashing. Honestly the paintings depicted did not shock me. They did not even titillate. I mean, they were just forms of the female body, no detailing. Very artistically done and not vulgar at all. They were not portraits, like the portraits of his wife and daughter. Of course his wife and daughter sat down to get portraits done, and hence were clothed. Mother India or the numerous goddesses did not. Hence the forms were there.

Honestly people, what about the copulating statues of yakshas and yakshinis? What about Khajuraho?

This is the statue of the mother goddess in Chottanikkara Bhagavathy Temple which is one of the most celebrated Hindu shrines of Kerala. The temple is located in Chottanikkara town, 17kms away from Ernakulam. Rajarajeswari (Adiparasakthi) alias Durga Bhagavathy – the mother Goddess, is the presiding deity of the temple.

To know more click the link. This picture is worshiped in most homes of Hindu devotees.

Given the current intolerant and sensitive milieu we live in, the fact that Hussain is of Islamic faith played a huge role in his being singled out for special treatment, I guess.

I bet the poor man came out of his creative trance and said “Whoa, I did not sign up for this!”

We have had Shekhar Kapoor at loggerheads with censor boards, we have had other creative people at odds with moral police. The most creative way to express disgust at such repression was in May 1967 when the protesting students tarted up the walls of Paris with slogans like L’ennui est contre-révolutionnaire (Boredom is counter-revolutionary).

So let us just put this in perspective.

Hussain painted nude goddesses and mother India. The paintings upset some people who were non creative and considered them offensive. So they protested and Hussain, rather than waste energy fighting them, left. He went ahead and painted more, in another country. No, his form of expression could not be repressed, for all the moralistic jingoism. Now he is dead.

So why the hullabaloo? Art is by its very nature anarchic. It brings forth a lot of change, it pushes the viewer out of his comfort zone, and of course, it communicates to the soul. It is said that the devil played the fiddle. Rock and Roll was considered anarchic and devil’s music. Hussain’s paintings also touched some atavistic chord that led to so much unrest.

All I can say is that the rabble rousers will die – but his paintings will endure.