I was reading the Indian Oil advertisement today which exhorts us to use fuel judiciously. “Dur Ki Soch” they implore. So I decided to think – I have lots of time – kya karoon, am on forced internet fasting because of various reasons.
- Heavy rains have caused water-logging on the roads
- After seeing the condition of the roads our authorities have woken up from deep slumber and decided to give us very precious storm water drains.
- The guys who have to put the drainage in place have dug up the roads, which mean the telephone lines, internet lines, the roads themselves.
- For some strange reason, they have left the potholes in place. Weird huh?
So now I am in deep thought. What will oil shortage lead to?
- All of us will lose a lot of weight because we will walk or cycle. Cardiologists and chiropractors will be seeing a slump in business, so will dieticians and slimming centers.
- We will move out of home only when we absolutely need to. There will be no such thing as romantic long drives. This is going to lead to lots of angst. Can you imagine tolerating your spouse or other members of the family 24/7?
- Psychiatrics and divorce lawyers will see a steady rise in business.
- Our favorite channel on TV will be National Geographic and other armchair travel programmes. That will save us a lot of fuel.
- Journeys to office will be different. It would be normal to share a car with other people. In theory I don’t mind that, that is if my car pool has gorgeous muscular hunks. My social life will become happening heh! But if I get unlucky, I will have to share with women who are busy knitting and discussing the latest twists and turns of the Ekta Kapoor serials – or men discussing economy or the political situation. Gaah!
- We will save a heck of a lot of money which is otherwise used for fuel. Since gold is becoming cheaper – I know where most of that money will go.
- Advise for families with more than one car – Cars can double as extra storage space – one can always put in lot of Odonil or other moth repellants and then neatly pack our winter wear in the car. The boot can hold all the tools that one never knows where to stash.
- If one is mechanically inclined, one could always dismantle the car and reassemble it on the terrace where it can work as a greenhouse for difficult to grow plants.
- We will see the return of horses and camels as modes of transportation. Since cars will be storage space or green houses, community garages will be built to house our horses and camels.
- Roads will be deserted, and what do you know – we just may be able to grow daisies in the damn potholes to green India and lower the pollution levels.