This barber seems to be inspired by Grimms Fairy Tales
Category Archives: Nation
Indians and Matrimony
Our society runs on two major forces. Warrior Kings, Dynastic Emperors et all gave way to Presidents and Prime Ministers but the ground realities did not change. The two major forces that run this great land of ours is religion and matrimony.
Heaven help people who do not actively participate (even naam ke vaaste) in these two. An atheist can not survive in this scenario and neither can an unmarried person. Of course there are a few intrepid souls who do, but I shudder to think how much it costs them to maintain such beliefs.
Shail of Shail’s Nest is not the only one who is facing such a problem. My DIL’s parents were facing such pressures, which is why they wanted to wed her as soon as she and Kid#1 said Aye. My friend Jayshree has two sons, both unmarried and a huge batallion of relatives who are showing her prospective brides … and … oh the list is endless.
Truly – matchmaking is a favorite occupation in this country. And be warned, that is not the only favorite occupation. Once the bride and groom are hitched, the kindly souls take it a step further – right into their bedrooms. They want to know why the kids havent procreated. One colleague of mine has a relative who actually sidled up to him and informed him the sexual position in which the sperm hits bullseye. “i’ve tried it. It works” the good man assured him.
Oooh I wish I had been there to hear this exposition.
Well, I have a big big grouse against Kid#1. I had spent years deliberating and thinking about a priceless line I would use to fend off such well meaning queries. He got married before I could use the line. I hope Kid#2 is not stung by Cupid’s arrow just yet. I have to use this line on some prissy dried up prune, once at least.
It would go somewhat like this :
Prune : When is your boy getting married? Anything fixed yet? Why is he not married yet? Something wrong with him? There is a nice girl we know who is good wife-material…
Me : He is too young for marriage.
Prune : Nonsense, he is over twenty and his education is over. You should not wait now. He may bring in someone unsuitable.
Me : If he gets home a woman, it would be fine. I may have issues about a gay match though.
(Yeah, I am gay phobic when it comes to my sons)
Prune : I know of a perfect match for him.
Me : My older one got married before me. Now I have to get married. I am older than Kid#2. Can you please look for a suitable match for me?
I think that would buy me and Kid#2 some time.
I hope the Prune does not come back with a list of “suitable widowers, divorcees” et all for me, though.
A tale about a rickshaw wala and an IIT-ian
This is a copy paste …
What with editing one book and writing another, I go through long periods of not knowing what to write on my blog
Plus this story is worth sharing : Thanks Dagny Sol, for sending it to me
I happened to come across this on a Friend’s Facebook Page sent to her by a friend of hers…took the liberty to copy/paste and forward because it is obviously true, heart warming and inspiring….
IITian and Rickshaw-wala….
There were two rickshaw-walas vying for our business, when we wanted to go to Sankat-Mochan temple in Benaras. I agreed to go with the one, who was about 20 years of age, seemed like a regular young rickshaw-wala, but I found something interesting about him. I was not proved wrong.
He wanted Rs 50, we said Rs 30. We settled for Rs 40.
Here are the highlights of the conversation that ensued, while we rode the rickshaw:
“Aap kahan se aaye hain?”
“Delhi.”
“Bijness, ya kaam karte hain?”
“Naukri karte hain.”
“Kismein?”
“Internet mein.”
“Humara bhi kuch wahin kaam lagwa dijiye.”
I just chuckled.
“Main try kar raha hoon engineering padhne kee. Achchi naukri lag jaayegi tab.”
“Achcha?” I asked a little interested.
“Haan, delhi mein Guru Gobind Singh Indraprashta University mein engineering ke liye apply kiya hai. Achchi hai woh university.”
“Haan, achchi hai”, I agreed.
“Haan, kal hee maine JEE bhi diya.”
“JEE matlab, IIT ka?”
“Haan, Joint Entrance Examination” he pronounced it perfectly.Just to make it clear to me what JEE stood for. “Mushkil hota hai exam.”
“Haan, 2 saal toh log padhte hee hain uske liye, asaan nahin hai.”
“Delhi mein Akaash coaching institute hain na?”
“Haan, hai.”
“Aapne kya padhai kee?”
“Main engineer hoon, aur phir MBA bhi kiya.”
“Kahan se engineer?”
“IIT Delhi se.”
He swung back, surprised, a little delighted, and smiled. “Ok,
aapke liye Rs 30.”
Swati and I laughed.
Swati asked “Padhai kab karte they IIT ke liye?”
“Bas, rickshaw chalaane ke baad raat mein”. Then he added
“Kismein engineering kee aapne?”
“Chemical.”
“Toh aapki Chemistry toh badi strong hogi.”
“Nahin, aisa nahin hai.”
He continued “Yeh bataiye….jab Mendeleev ne Periodic Table banaya tha tab kitne elements they usmein?”
Now it was my turn to get surprised. He was quizzing me. I said “Shayad 70-80.”
“No, 63″ he said sharply. “Kaunse element kee electronegativity highest hai?”
I didnt try too hard and said “Pata nahin.”
“Flourine”, he said confidently. Without a break he asked,”Kaunse element kee electron affinity highest hoti hai?”
Now I was laughing too and said “Nahin pata”
“Chlorine. toh aapka kaunsa subject strong tha?” clearly having proven that my chemistry wasn’t a strong point.
“Physics”, I said.
“Achha, Newton’s second law of motion kya hai?”
I thought I knew this one. “F=ma”, I said.
“Physics is not about formula, it is understanding concept!”, he reprimanded me in near perfect English. “Tell me in statement”
I was shocked.
I said “ok, Newtons second law, er….was….”
” ‘Was’ nahin, ‘is’!Second law abhi bhi hai!” he snapped at my use of ‘was’.
Surely, my physics wasn’t impressing him either. “Yaad nahin, I said”
“Force on an object is directly proportional to the mass of the
object and the acceleration of the object”, he said it in near perfect English. “Aapne M.Tech nahin kiya?”
“Nahin, MBA kiya”
“MBA waale toh sirf paisa kamana chahte hain, kaam nahin karte.”
“Nahin, aisa nahin hai, paisa kamaane ke liye kaam karna padta hai.” Didn’t think too highly of me apparently anymore.
In a minute we reached our destination. We got off and I told him that he must and should definitely study more, and that I thought he was sharp as hell. He took only Rs 30, smiled and began to leave. I got my camera out and said “Raju, ek photo leta hoon tumhari”. He waved me off, dismissed the idea and rode off before I could say anything more….leaving me feeling high and dry like a spurned lover.
Damn, what a ride that was! India is changing, and changing fast!!!
A post for the child inside all of us …
First of all a disclaimer … I am not a serious person, and definitely not a politically astute one. So if you are going to be (God forbid) a boring adult and take my post seriously and get into an uproar, all I would like to say is “Nyah Nyah! I gotcha!”
Now that I have got the statutory disclaimer out of the way, let me tell the children who are with me … “Guys, just check out the 75 year old child, Anna Hazare. He fixed it for us. He just dug in his heels with a childlike obstinacy and won the day. Makes me seriously value the child like simplicity which I am sure resides deep down in all of us.
You know, I have mentioned it in some other blog I wrote – whenever I am too confused or conflicted, I try and talk to a ten year old. They dont understand a lot, but sure as hell know what is important and good. It is intuitive for them. It cuts through the bullshit and gets me through the muddled times.
So why cant we be that simple. It isnt hard. That is what our default mode aught to be.
Consider this
Children on an allowance cant spend more than they have. It is as simple as that. Wont our economy benefit from stringent budgeting? Hell yeah, it will. Scamsters and greedy people like Raja and Kalmadi would not thrive in such conditions. What is more, no parent would agree to give a child more, just because he votes himself a pay raise, or overspends his allowance.
Kids do not like to stand out
Kids know all about fitting in. No kid would like to come to school in a stretch limo, when his peer group cycles down to school. No kid would like to wear jeans to school when the rest are in uniform. They hate being the odd man out. They don’t like being viewed as a teacher’s pet, or a rich privileged person.
Kids say it like they see it
Sigh! I wish the political spokespersons of Congress, BJP and other parties knew how refreshing it is to speak to children. No political posturing, no statements that are so patently false like Manish Tiwari’s and Digvijay Singh’s in the recent past.
But then … TV would not be half as entertaining would it?
Children like to help
It gives them joy, to help their mothers at home, and their friends and school mates. Its been a long time since I have seen such joy in doing something significant in the faces of our national leaders.
Children respect their elders and betters
Ahem … Wish we remembered that … all of us
Kids do not want to differentiate with other kids on basis of caste, colour and creed … or economic status
And when we teach them to – they still wonder why …
Its time, I feel that we go back to the lovely black and white world we lived in as children.
Now excuse me while I throw a tantrum before a drink my medicine and wail loudly and say, “I don’t wanna ”
But I draw a line at staging hunger strikes. I simply dont have the will power
Please don’t make it a circus
I have been keenly following the Anna Hazare fast. I know that in this country we have a large number of discontent and agitated people keen on committing violence – be it arson, stone throwing or even shaking their fists and mouthing Ma – Behn gaalis. But that I can still condone – no not the arson and stone throwing but the general venting. We have a lot to vent about, our democratically elected government and netas have ensured that.
What I cant condone is our fat arsed armchair intellectuals who will argue every progress or positive step, without getting the said arse out of the chair and do something.
Argument No. 1
Anna Hazare is holding the government to ransom
Well … high time someone from the aam janta did! Our netas and beaurocrats have been holding the country to ransom and thereby harassing us for a long time. Time they got a taste of their own poison. And it is a step in the right direction. At least Anna and Team are trying to do their bit for a corruption free India. What are these arm chair intellectuals doing?
Argument No. 2
What Anna is doing is unconstitutional.
Yeah sure! By the same coin, what Gandhi did was unconstitutional too. But the government does not like to hear that, does it? I feel that this movement represents a hope that the general poison in our system will get exorcised. I don’t know if it will – but am with it, because its a step in the right direction.
Argument No. 3
The growing protest by self serving brand of intellectuals like Aruna Roy, the dalit activist who fears her following may be diminished, rabble rouser and supporter of Maoists and Geelani, Arundhati Roy and the likes. Well, I have nothing to say to them, apart from directing them to this blog post which I really admire “Why I’d rather be Anna than Arundhati”
My plea to one and all is – Please don’t make a circus out of this. Acknowledge that you have come face to face with something greater than individuals, something greater than personal and petty aspirations. Watch it carefully before shooting your mouth off, like Manish Tiwari did.
To the ruling government and the inept way this was handled, I’d like to ask, “Kya boss? Didja think you’d make the old man wear a salwar kameez and flee? Bad judgement boss”
Coming to my own personal opinion
1. No I do not support the government bill at all, but I do have reservations on Anna’s bill. I do hope that an open debate is held and glitches ironed out.
2. I am very glad that Anna has shaken us out of our apathy. We, the working classes have been doing nothing but earning our living and shooting our mouths out on the ills that we face in this country. We have not taken steps to correct it. I am glad we are voicing our protest.
3. The youth has got involved. I love this. Youth is, by its very nature, idealistic, impatient and eager. Those energies will make all the difference.
My appeal to the Government, rabble rousers and the protesters is just one simple one
We have, after a very long time, got involved in something that transcends the individuals that lead the movement, oppose it or support it. The protest we are seeing is not for just tabling the Jan Lokpal. It is bigger than that. It is for a cleaner system of governance in the country. It is for getting jobs without paying bribes, it is for an effective and cleaner government.
I think Kejriwal and others in Team Anna are aware of this and are trying to keep the movement limited to tabling of Jan Lokpal. Perhaps they are unsure of how to deal with the larger demand from the people.
I feel that we will be disappointed – but hope that its just the cynic in me that feels so.
Tolerance or Weakness?
Shakti aur Kshama (Strength and Mercy)
Poet: Ramdhari Singh “Dinkar”
Kshama, daya, tap, tyaag, manobal
Sabka liya sahara
Par nar vyagh Suyodhan tumse
Kaho kahan kab haara?
Mercy, resolve, tact, tolerance
You’ve tried everything and some
But o my king of men
When did Suyodhan succumb?
Kshamasheel ho rrpu-saksham
Tum huye vineet jitna hi
Dusht Kauravon ne tumko
Kaayar samjha utna hi
The more forgiving you were
In your humane compassion
The more these rouge Kauravas
Pegged you as cowardly ashen
Atyachar sahan karne ka
Kufal yahi hota hai
Paurush ka aatank manuj
Komal hokar khota hai
This is the consequence
Of tolerating atrocities
The awe of machismo is lost
When one’s gentle n kindly
Kshama shobhti us bhujang ko
Jiske paas garal hai
Uska kya jo dantheen
Vishrahit vineet saral hai
Forgiveness is becoming of
The serpent that’s got venom
None cares for the toothless,
Poisonless, kind, gentle one
Teen divas tak panth mangte
Raghupati sindhu kinare
Baithey padhtey rahey chhand
Anunay ke pyaare pyaare
For three days Lord Raam kept
Asking the ocean for a passage
Sitting there he petitioned
Using the sweetest words to engage
Uttar mein jab ek naad bhi
Utha nahi saagar se
Uthi adheer dhadhak paurush ki
Aag raam ke shar se
When in response there was
Not a whisper from the sea
A raging fire of endeavor
Rose from Raam’s body
Sindhu deh dhar trahi-trahi
Karta aa gira sharan mein
Charan pooj daasta grrhan ki
Bandha moodh bandhan mein
The ocean took human-form
‘N supplicated to Raam
Touched his feet, was subservient
A slave he had become
Sach poochho to shar mein hi
Basti hai deepti vinay ki
Sandhivachan sampoojya usika
Jisme shakti vijay ki
Truth be told, it’s in the quiver
That lies the gleam of modesty
Only his peace-talk is reputable
Who is capable of victory
Sahansheelta, kshama, daya ko
Tabhi poojta jag hai
Bal ka darp chamakta uskey
Peechhey jab jagmag hai
Tolerance, forgiveness and clemency
Are respected by the world
Only when the glow of strength
From behind it is unfurled
Dear People in charge of feeding and housing Kasab, dear people in charge of preaching tolerance when the Chinese threat is escalating at our borders, dear people in charge of my country’s foreign policy, please pause and consider.
We are not judged for our intentions, but for our actions.
I did not write the poem I have quoted above, or translated it. Dinkar wrote this wonderful poem and I got the an excellent translation of it from here. It is a poem that is taught in every school in this country. I read it as a girl. It taught me valuable lessons in life. I want you to read it and reflect …
No, time for reflection is gone. I request you to please read and ACT for all our sakes.
Yours
Concerned citizen of a land that is being viewed as a soft target
New Kid on the Block
This is in response to people who have been asking me why there is no blog post
Folks there are plenty, but all in the head. What with importing people from facebook to Google Plus, logging into yahoo mail and finding that I had 58 unread messages … from people I think I knew at a point. I must have known them right? Otherwise why would they be on my mail list?
I wonder why we migrate from one social networking site to another … circa 2000 BC everyone was on My Space, then mass exodus happened. We found Orkut. Then it became uncool and we shifted en masse to Facebook, now every one is clambering on to Google Plus.
A bit weird considering that we meet the same dudes at all these places.
The world view is shifting. Soon we shall have a world in which the most dangerous parental threat would be
“YOU STOP DOING THAT RIGHT NOW, OR I WILL TWEET YOUR BEHAVIOR”
and the poor kid would die rather than let his timeline know about his unacceptable behavior.
An awesome image of the virtual sky line today
Uff yeh duniya ….
And then when one wants to opt out and spend more time in the real world … one finds that it is dull as ditchwater, and so tame. All the interesting people are online, on one’s time line.
So yes folk, I am on Facebook, Twitter, Yahoo, Google Plus …. and I think my Orkut account still lives on. Havent checked but must still exist.
I am well networked
The Slut Walk and Me
I am all for freedom, but along with that comes responsibility.
I am all for gender equality.
But I am a writer by temperament and words to me are tangible living things. They have power, to change the world, to burn to destroy and to bring happiness.
Being a curious person (and also because I spent most of my student years looking out of windows) I also gaze out of the window when I am driven to office and driven back home. I see things … (no – not dead people like in that Bruce Willis movie) but I see people when they are at their natural best.
And I can not help wonder …
It is normal to see a guy hold his penis (yes, I will use the word) and urinate on the road, oblivious to the world going to work. It is a part of his body and he feels no shame about it. He does not care a damn about peeing on the road either.
Who is the slut here?
It is hard to find a guy not scratching his scrotum in public. Or even farting or burping in public. It is hard to find a man restrain himself from scratching his butt.
Who is the slut here?
Thing is that they are proud of their body organs and treat them as just that – body organs. The functions like burping or farting are also a part of body functions.
They have not been taught to be ashamed of these things or exercise restraint.
I remember my elder son once telling me in shocked tones, “You know, that shop keeper? He ate his food, rubbed his belly and burped loudly. I could see a piece of palak in his mouth. Disgusting”
I remember replying “That is just because he has not been taught better”
In my current frame of mind I feel that may be us women have been taught worse ..
We have been taught to be ashamed of our body functions. We can not stop a bus for a pee break even though our bladder would burst. We would die a million shameful deaths before we get the guts to do so.
We will not be caught dead touching our private parts in public.
So why in heaven’s name should we call this march a slut walk?
Words have power.
This is a walk to reclaim our self respect. To reclaim our own rights over our bodies and the independence to decide what we cover it with.
I can not be a part of a slut walk.
I am not slutty.
What I want to be a part of is a walk of like minded women and men, who acknowledge that a woman has rights over her body, which she can clothe the way she wishes to (within norms of decency). I want to be a part of a walk of liberated souls who state that a woman’s womb is her own, and she decides when and to how many children she gives birth. And a walk that awakens the public to the fact that a woman is not a repository of her clan honour, her father/brother/husband’s izzat or pagri.
Any takers for that?
An awesome post “In Defense of Sluts Everywhere”
Art and Anarchy
Anarchy comes from the Greek word an = without and arkhos = ruler.
The times we live in with a PM in absentia, and his spokesman Mr. Kapil Sibal’s moronic statement “The PM is a notional concept”. Sheesh, Mr. Sibal, I hope you realize that the votes you get from me is also notional. But then I digress.
What is art? As a creative person, I can safely state that to me my writing, my art is something that helps me express, without any limitation, my mind. Art knows no boundaries. Art is definitely anarchic in nature. To grab eyeballs, to capture the imagination, it has to push beyond safe boundaries, beyond comfort zone.
And creative people soar so high into their own imaginative worlds that it shocks them, surprises them when they see the strong reactions that the fruit of their creativity brings. I am sure Taslima Nasrin found that out to her own horror, so did Salman Rushdie. Stéphane Mallarmé, was once quoted “Je ne sais pas d’autre bombe, qu’un livre.” (I know of no bomb other than a book.) I would say the same about a painting.
I got an email forward today which was Hussain bashing. Honestly the paintings depicted did not shock me. They did not even titillate. I mean, they were just forms of the female body, no detailing. Very artistically done and not vulgar at all. They were not portraits, like the portraits of his wife and daughter. Of course his wife and daughter sat down to get portraits done, and hence were clothed. Mother India or the numerous goddesses did not. Hence the forms were there.
Honestly people, what about the copulating statues of yakshas and yakshinis? What about Khajuraho?

To know more click the link. This picture is worshiped in most homes of Hindu devotees.
Given the current intolerant and sensitive milieu we live in, the fact that Hussain is of Islamic faith played a huge role in his being singled out for special treatment, I guess.
I bet the poor man came out of his creative trance and said “Whoa, I did not sign up for this!”
We have had Shekhar Kapoor at loggerheads with censor boards, we have had other creative people at odds with moral police. The most creative way to express disgust at such repression was in May 1967 when the protesting students tarted up the walls of Paris with slogans like L’ennui est contre-révolutionnaire (Boredom is counter-revolutionary).
So let us just put this in perspective.
Hussain painted nude goddesses and mother India. The paintings upset some people who were non creative and considered them offensive. So they protested and Hussain, rather than waste energy fighting them, left. He went ahead and painted more, in another country. No, his form of expression could not be repressed, for all the moralistic jingoism. Now he is dead.
So why the hullabaloo? Art is by its very nature anarchic. It brings forth a lot of change, it pushes the viewer out of his comfort zone, and of course, it communicates to the soul. It is said that the devil played the fiddle. Rock and Roll was considered anarchic and devil’s music. Hussain’s paintings also touched some atavistic chord that led to so much unrest.
All I can say is that the rabble rousers will die – but his paintings will endure.
Mera Bharat My India II
The Uber-Rich and The Babalog
I once wrote a blog post about the 3 Indias that co-exist in our country. The urban Baba-Log that are beautifully depicted by Karan Johar’s movies. These guys are rich, and definitely think that they have the divine right to rule. They look down on the wannabes and have a complete disconnect from the rural India. The Swiss Black Money Club (the uber rich) that reacted so violently, to protect their ill gotten fortunes are a part of this elite I feel. There was all this money to protect, children’s phoren education, a plush lifestyle etc etc. No wonder the corridors of power pulled a few strings, got the police to lathi charge folk sleeping at Jantar Mantar. And yes, Mr. Kapil Sibal, this is a democracy. Folk can peacefully protest, and aam janta gave you and your colleagues their job. Aam junta can ask for hisab too. Too bad it happened in your tenure, but there it is.
The Wannabes
Remember Khosla Ka Ghosla? Do Dooni Char? And the recent movie Band Baja Baraat? The movies represent the urban classes, that do not have the money. But they want it so bad! And they are the folk that conjure up fears of Indian culture being spoilt by foreign brands. Oh yes, they are the self proclaimed guardians of Indian culture and morality. They are the ones who will opt for cheaper preventive health care measures that Baba Ramdev offers in his Yoga. This India is the source of Baba Ramdev’s power. They want a finger in the pie too. They want the power held for so long by Baba Log. They are jingoistic, very patriarchal, but they appreciate the irony of the ruling party laughing at Ramdev fleeing wearing a salwar kameez.

The rural India
And in this they are being assisted by the third main India, the rural India. Omkara showed this class in its true colours. These Indians have not yet come into their own. When they do … well India is going to be a very different ball game altogether. They hate urban India, think we are fools. To them superstition, black magic make more sense than the black money that has the country in uproar. But they understand Anna Hazare and Baba Ramdev. Hence they are supporting the Wannabes
I think that right now, the wannabes have served notice to the Baba log and what we are seeing is a struggle for power. The vernacular India has woken up and smelt the coffee. They have had enough and the rich people, so used to ruling in a feudal way are fighting to keep them from snatching the power out of their hands.
Wonder how this will end.
As of now, its the news channels that are laughing all the way to the bank.
Again, my thanks to the cartoonists who have given us such catchy images of the current events. I have published cartoons I recieved in email forwards, I claim no credit for them


