My daughter's stricken eyes haunt me
Its been thirty years since that horrible night. My husband brought a few friends for a party, to share booze, dinner and later on - his wife. They beat me up and tied my hands up with my own sari. One of them held my legs to prevent me from kicking while the other took his turn on me.
I swallowed the blood that filled my mouth and looked at my five year old daughter, standing still and shocked holding her younger brother's hand. They looked death like. My eyes met hers even as I was being penetrated and I whispered in despair
"Misha help!!!!"
Her stricken eyes looked at me. Then she pulled her little brother and they both fled. The door slammed shut. I felt abandoned.
We did not come from the lower classes. He was educated, well travelled and sophisticated. I come from a equally wealthy background. But this perversion - a fetish for treating women as objects......
After they had had their fill, they left, no doubt to search for more sport. More Saturday night rapes?
I dragged my bruised body into my room and bed. Surrounded by luxury, violated by my need for it.
Her eyes haunted me, it was as though she were screaming silently into my head : "Mama, get your act together. We need you to protect us."
I hated her and the way she made me feel inadequate. I hated her for abandoning me. It took many years of therapy to figure out that Misha did only what she could do in the situation - protect her younger brother and herself when the adults could not.
Those eyes made me act. They made me seek help, made me get out of the rut. I still can not look her in the face. I still can not admit it to myself ... can not bring myself to thank her.
My daughter's stricken eyes haunt me ....
I tag the following
Currently have 22 Comments
Ritu,
That was very disturbing.. very well written.. made me feel so bad. How many such incidents just go unnoticed.. unpunished.. its just so sad.
-Pallavi
Very disturbing but I have no doubt such things do happen. I can imagine the confusion, the guilt and even the reproach...
Thanks for tagging me, I will definitely write for this contest.
Fuck. Hard hitting. Well written Ritu. I'm speechless.
Very very upsetting and shocking!!
DV has a deep impact not only on the victim but the children too, often scarring them for life!
Very strongly portrayed!
To think that things like this happen all the time. Very hard-hitting and very effective in driving home the message!
Very well written drastic reality !
Well written Ritu. Different scenes, same violence, same sickness. I hope articles like these awaken women to take action, and men to rethink their behaviors!
very well written.. so disturbing and sad
This is the hard bitter truth so well expressed. One of your best Ritu. I will do the tag for sure. thank you for considering my name. well done
Did take up the tag and on time
http://myheadtrip.wordpress.com/2010/02/25/abuse-not-just-physical/
very very well written i am shivering as i read this... how sad but this is the truth in many households
Wow, I have got goosebumps reading this. I wish it was completely fictional, but the sad thing is that it is reality for some very unfortunate women.
wow...such a haunting story....
when will we ever be just women and not objects of lust....
So morbid, the way she vents on her daughter. I would imagine being protective of your child after such a torturous incident but accusing is a very interesting twist!
Blame transference happens. Logically the lady understands that a five year old could not help her, but feels abandoned at an emotional level
Very well written, this can be story of many more domestic servants.
Now that is not true. This happens among the rich too
Ritu.. Its so well written that for few moments i was dumbstruck. I felt like the girl who cud not do anything but watch.
Very unnerving and disturbing reading this. That speaks of your writing skill. The stricken eyes and the haunted feeling all come alive. Well written, to drive home the point!
Ritu, that was haunting...I could imagine the scene almost...so well written!
a well written post,ritu..this sort of stuff, even when i know its a piece of fiction, shakes me up.
You left me spellbound.
It is fiction, but it is true somewhere, in some corner of the society.
You know something, I actually know of so many similar tales. I used to go to Sanjeevani after my marriage broke up - to just vent. My agony seemed trivial compared to such raw tragedy I heard of. This abuse is more common than we would like to believe .... and perversion and kinks occur in every strata of society. It is not just the poor or uneducated. We have the money and sophistication to hide it