Font "Warp 1" was not found.If I were Empress of the World

Of course in my own eyes I already am!  But public opinion bhi maangta hai na!

Well if I were the Empress here is what would happen

1. Window Shopping would be classified as aerobic exercise.  So would sex.

2. The entire globe would be wi-fi enabled and no one would pay for internet

3. The entire world would run on solar energy and people using fossil fuels and trying to make money out of selling essential stuff like food, water and power would be thrown in jail.  I’d take them out of the dungeon on a day I was bored and have them try to kill each other.  GO NINJA GO! (I would like to classify jeans, shoes, tees and sweaters as essential too, but kuch zyada ho jayega!)

4. Similar would be the fate of people trying to make money out of other people’s misfortunes like disease and death

5. But special treatment would be meted out to rapists, child abusers, people who are intolerant, people who are bestial and cruel and curb other’s religious and personal freedom.  They would be put into padded cells in lunatic asylums in solitary confinement.  I think they’re nuts anyway …..  They could wither away frothing in the mouth and talking to themselves.

6.  I am getting increasingly disillusioned and angry with the recent Shiv Sena attack on Shah Rukh Khan over IPL.  These bully boys have to be stopped.  If  I were Empress, those pricks from Shiv Sena would already be in solitary confinement where they could not spew their poison.  The people from the media who are giving them a platform to spread their poison would be in dungeons awaiting their duel to death for my entertainment and the Govt would be sent to the hospital to be physically castrated.  They are morally and spiritually eunuchs anyway, since they allow this nonsense to be replayed again and again.



January 30, 2010 ·
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Font "Warp 1" was not found.Comments

15 Responses to “If I were Empress of the World”

  1. Rohini on January 30th, 2010 8:50 am

    You’ll need a LOT of dungeons :D

    Oh hey, we’re talking global arent we? We could assign an entire island or a mountain or two for this!

  2. Neeraj Sharma on January 30th, 2010 9:04 am

    Indeed May you be the Empress this very moment, the World could be rid of so much hatred and despicable characters that pass on as leaders (sic) of the masses and those Eunuchs that we have elected to rule us.

    Pathetic displays on non-tolerance are being eulogised by the media both at home and abroad. One small request When you indeed take the baton as the Empress, please make the World free of Boudries that devide people physically, emotionally and intellectually.

    I shall pray for you to be the Empress that You already are in your very own right.

    I do agree with Rohini though, you might need a LOT of Dungeons :D

    Happy Ruling, Hail Empress

    Her Majesty likes this ;)

  3. Ramit on January 30th, 2010 9:34 am

    Lol @ Go Ninja Go!

    Agree to both the people above. For the Shiv Sena guys, you’d need humongous land to build dungeons!

    Its possible!

  4. A on January 30th, 2010 9:50 am

    hail the empress :)
    point 6 is bang on! Sachin, ambani and now shah rukh. Alas god forgot to make a stop button for these banashees!!!

    How about some toxic virus to attack their vocal chords? Godji should look into this

  5. Smitha on January 30th, 2010 6:15 pm

    I’d say ‘Amen’ to all that :) May you become the empress very soon :)

    Thank you

  6. Advitiya on January 30th, 2010 6:39 pm

    You could make it a rule to have dress shops carry dresses in ALL sizes. And free chocolate vending machines for those days. And start a clone factory (johnny depp, brad pitt, george clooney) Just imagine the possibilities! :D

    All hail the Evil Queen :)

    Now look what you did! I gained calories just reading this feel good idea! Wanna be P.M. to my Empress? Only if you make the clone machine work

  7. hypermom on January 31st, 2010 5:09 pm

    My vote is with you!

    Thank you

  8. indianhomemaker on January 31st, 2010 10:52 pm

    How we need you to be the Empress of the world! If it’s by voting my vote is with you.

    Arrey Wah! If this was an election, I had a chance it seems!

  9. hitchwriter on February 1st, 2010 6:58 am

    Seriously loved reading this.. if you were the empress of this world… !! I would love being a subject !!!! :)
    \
    Thanks Hitchy

  10. B K CHOWLA on February 1st, 2010 7:26 am

    All I want is –if you do become one—please find a way to give direction so that the country can be governed well.

    Its actually easy to be a backseat critic than a player in the murky arena you know ….

  11. Shilpa Garg on February 1st, 2010 8:17 am

    Wow, these are wonderful thoughts and if these truly happen, life would be just cool! So may you be the Empress!! :)
    Cheers :)

    Thanks Shilpa

  12. The Restless Quill on February 1st, 2010 9:18 am

    Sex IS already classified as an aerobic exercise :)
    My first time here. Happy dreaming.

    Oh wow! This I did not know!

  13. Advitiya on February 3rd, 2010 10:20 am

    When do I start working??? :D

    Get me a hunk and we can start asap

  14. Roop on February 4th, 2010 11:38 pm

    u are the awarded, empress.

  15. shail on February 9th, 2010 4:42 am

    Ahhh what fun! I wish you’d be Empress ASAP. :)

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