Monthly Archives: February 2009

Dressing in finery

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Role reversal is wierd … in a nice heart warming way

DIL has decided that I badly need to dress up like a grown up and be lady like

She has also offered to take me shopping, not for herself, but FOR ME

Shocking!  She is willing to forgo her shopping for me!!!  I am amazed that she would sacrifice so much time for me – and even make the effort.

I am also thankful

Well!  I am quite bad at shopping for clothes

I was the bane of my mother’s existence.  She was the most elegantly turned out lady, wonder how she gave birth to the tomboy I was.

And now I have the most put together Fashionista in the form of my DIL.  DIL is girly girly

Before any shaadi in the house, she rounds me up with a “What are you wearing?” question.  Mind you this is a month before the event.  She of course has already decided her clothes, jewellery, accessories and even the clothes her hubby Kid#1 will wear.

Then she gets on Kid#2 and my case ……..

On my birthday she decided I would wear a saree.

I wore one

Since I tied it myself, it worked loose after 3 drinks and I ditched it for a housecoat.

She rolled her eyes, spoke gently “Mom aise kab tak chalega?”

Heck it worked for me for 50 years.

Now I have to get my act together and stop being such a brat

My Momma would have loved her

My Birthday Week

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This has been the most eventful birthday I ever had!  Dammit I had to wait until I hit FIFTY to have so much fun.  Like it is said “The game ain’t done until you are dead and gone!”  I will have really make special efforts to top this one.  May be.  Knowing me, may be it will happen by itself.

Fun is one of those auto-combustion things.  You just stir stuff together or put them in close vicinity to each other …. BOOM! It happens.  Good food+alcohol+siblings=weekend of pure unadulterated happiness.

I have a cousin who lives in England – arrey vohi, apna vilayat!  He’s 26th Feb born.  We were together in February after the time when I was 15 and he was 17.  Since he was going back on 23rd, I called him and a few cousins over for a weekend together.  We simply had a blast!  Will post pictures separately, but it really was a pity that we had only Saturday and Sunday together.  You know Kid#1 and his wife had a party on their wedding anniversary, and they treated me like senior citizen!  It was like,” okay Mom eat your dinner by eleven and go to sleep.  Its late” Dammit people, I am not a doddering senile!  I can hold my booze, am toilet trained and mentally solvent.  I really will not embarass you!  Ah the arrogance of youth!  It was good to show ‘em that us old people also know how to party!  So what if I am minus a few parts, my budday sibling is bald now, the elder ones snore in between drinks, gags and conversation.  When it comes to it, we know how to enjoy.

Monday had me sleepwalking through work!  Just as I was recovering, it was Wednesday.

Woke up on budday morning with a call from an old pal. “Abbey, why weren’t you born yesterday?”

Me : Kyun?

He : Then you would have been the Ambani Matriarch

Me : Looking at the time : 7 a.m.  Who the fuck says matriarch at 7 a.m I ask ya????? Kaise?

and snuggling into my quilt

He : Abbey she has two sons so do you, and she was born on 24th Feb

Me : Thanks for the budday wishes …….

He : Oh I forgot!  Happy Birthday

Me : Growl! Go away!  I’ll ring you back when I am fully awake!

He : Snigger Snigger

Why are all my friends insane?  Or is it something to do with me ?

At office, a lot of people wished me.  I even got flowers.  Its nice to be pampered heh!  But of course there are bitchy people.  Sometimes men are more bitchy than women

A creep came to wish me

Creep : Happy Birthday Madam, kitney saalon ke ho gayi ho?  Smirk Smirk

Me : Seventy …. and  to ensure that he heard it right I added Sattar!  Pher puchenga teh Assi!!!

For Gods sake!

I am old enough to eat, smoke, drive and drink!  What do you know, I can vote too!

Happy 50th to me   :D

Slumdog wins

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photo_14_hires

Best Picture : Slumdog

Directing : Slumdog

Music (Song) : Slumdog

Music (Score) : Slumdog

Film Editing : Slumdog

Sound Mixing : Slumdog

Cinematography : Slumdog

Writing (Screenplay) : Slumdog

As they say in Punjabi : Rabji deonda hai teh chappar phar kar

Translation : When God gives, the bounty tears up the thatched roof while coming into your house

And as they say in 21st Century : Agar Chappar nahin pakki chat hai, to khidki darwaze todkar deta hai

Translation : And if there is a cemented roof, the bounty breaks open the doors and windows

Seems like India was in Season.  8 Oscars for Slumdog, One for Smile Pinki

The Indian Film Industry was doing good, but somehow needed a validation nod from the Oscars.  I think there will be a lot of jubilation and a whole lot of jealousy and debates like

“Is Slumdog an Indian Movie?”

“Is this Poverty Porn?”

“If we did Slumdog in Bollywood, it would not have featured in Oscars”

We love to debate, and quibble dont we

Pinki will just have to be happy with her smile … she’s gonna be totally eclipsed

DVD insert

Am no longer in the competition

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Got this mail from the Admin

Unfortunately, we have found out that you don’t have much association with Mumbai apart from having visited 3-4 times and some of your relatives staying here. You haven’t really stayed here long or studied or worked in Mumbai.

So we have to remove your blog from the competition. We are extrememly sorry for this. We enjoyed reading your blog and we will continue to do so.

……………………………………………………………………..

Heck – it was fun being in the competition for a while. I liked the rush
:D

Never mind – more arenas await

So what is my relationship with Mumbai?

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I first went to Mumbai when I was a kid – about seven years old.  My maternal aunt lived in Mumbai.  Mumbai those days (as far as I can remember) was very Naval in nature, and my Mausa Ji was Captain of INS Vikrant.  They had had a very bad time.  There was a war on with Pakistan and INS Vikrant was one of the major targets and the family had lost all contact with my uncle.  He came back along with the ship once things were settled.  The HQ had told them to lie low and protect the ship, so they had severed all contacts with family and friends for that time.

At that time, it did not matter to us kids.  All of us cousins were together, since Mausi was surrounded with her kith and kin.  It was one whale of a party.  Adults were too busy getting worried, so there was no rules for us apart from “Dont break things” and “Dont kill each other”.  For us land lubbers the sea was bliss, and the swimming pool was luxury.  I think we came home to eat and visit the  loo.  We were submerged for most of the time.  Any more … we would have grown gills and webbing on our fingers and toes.  3 weeks of sheer bliss.  Childhood is wonderfully selfish and unconcerned with the sorrows and tensions of adults.

The next time I visited Mumbai was kind of stressful.  My Naani was diagnosed with breast cancer and her operation was in Breech Candy.  She was brave, wonderful and beat the disease, and lived for twenty more years.  I was older, in charge of younger siblings.  We learnt how to board and travel on the local trains.  I got introduced to vada paav, sindhi kadhi, dhansaakh and prawns.  I went overboard on them.  My younger Mausi was also posted here and so was Mamaji.  Really bonded with the maternal wing of the clan.  The fun part was that a few cine stars lived in the same building as my younger Mausi and we hung around like total taporis to see them.  (I must add here that my Mumbai cousins acted very superior and sniggered at us Delhi Yokels for our star struck craze!)

I was married when I visited Mumbai again.  Ex’s Mamaji and cousin are both musicians and actively involved with the movie industry.  I met a whole lot of movie people.  I actually saw Mr. R. D. Burman and Mr. Bhappi Lahiri!

Oh Kay!  I know I am a star struck yokel – so what?????  Humph!

It is not out of place to mention here that I have met a lot of movie people on and off, but I still get star struck!  My cousins studied with a lot of star kids, and are quite blase about it.  Sigh ……

Now, I have cousins in Mumbai, DIL’s brother and Bhabi are living there.

It is a lovely place … with the sea and the glamour.  Now with super cheap flights, one does hop across often.  Wish I had more time to spend there.

Mumbai tailors for women’s blouses and suits can teach there Delhi counterparts a thing or two

Love the sea food!

Wish I lived with and hobnobbed with the stars …….

Actually Naah!

Wish I had webbed fingers and toes and of course gills …..

The ocean is a greater attraction

And the voting is on …..

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The country is having a poll dance and an interim budget

I’ll give em a pass for the award to display in a widget

I have been shortlisted as one of the best Mumbai Bloggers

I live in the NCR but forget that, It don’t matter

I write this verse today, some happy goodwill to float

Because ’tis more fun this way to beg for your keemti vote

I like to play and grin, I like to destress by having fun

The world’s grim these days, like the tip of a smoking gun

We lost trillions of bucks to some creative e-CON-omy

No one knows who robbed us of that huge sum of money

Did the netas take it, or has the stock exchange swallowed it?

No one can answer that one, the whole world’s been hit

I kept thinking if something’s lost, someone has to find it!

Now who’s got the moolah? Who’s the thief, the con behind it?

Then I realized that the truth has been completely glossed

This e-CON-omy slow down is a lie, we didn’t have the money we lost!!

Forget finance, its better to be the best Mumbai blogger

Its real and I can display it on my blog minus fuss and bother!

The mad mad world of Punjabi weddings

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I have been out of town for the last few days attending a wedding in the family.  I had a wonderful time meeting cousins, countless nieces and nephews and of course over-loading on food and booze.  I tell ya, no one does it as flaboyantly as the north indians.

Boisterous beats of dholki

Sounds of women singing Shava Shadak Teri Bodhi mere hath

(A folk song telling the tale of a couple getting physical while fighting)

A bevvy of nubile PYTs dancing to the song

A few young guys drowning their frustrations in glasses of whisky

When I asked them “Abby Oye, why such long faces, any longer, you would be cows”

The poor boys replied

“Dammit, any wedding we go to, the prettiest gals are our cousins …. I tell ya Bhua, we are the most unlucky dudes in town!”

Now that is a unique problem   :D

I sat with them and sympathised with their bad luck for a while.  The dholki was abandoned for the DJ playing Emosanal Attyachar ………

How apt!

I suddenly had a brainwave.  Hmmm Bacardi is known to get the brain cells jump start at crucial moments

Phoenixritu spake  “Guys, view point change karo.  Dont go for pretty, go for earthy, sexy and hot!  Forget Katrina and Juhi, go for Sameera, Shamita, Malaika types.  Sex up your lives, kiddos.  Add some excitement”

My bacardi was over.  There was silence on the table.  I think I did good there

LOL

Wonder if they’ll bring a sizzler home?????

Of bangles, underwear, turbans and honor

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Will the pink chaddi campaign work?  Or will the moral police take it as another sign that eductation and empowerment for women is bad.  It makes them besharm (shameless) hoydens?

Roop wants us to hold dialogue

Mystic Margarita wants the same

Piper would like us to petition

All these are peaceful and democratic steps to counter anti-democratic actions being taken by these people.  They started the assault and battery, they tried to take away our right to equality.    I would like them banned along with Thackeray and others of their ilk to put it mildly.  The better option would be criminal, radical and undemocratic.  Mindful of the recent bully-boy tactics of Barkha Dutt, I will not spell it out here.  Suffice to say that their strength is that they are men, we can take that away.

Remember this is India, where a man’s pride and honor is linked with his turban hence songs like “Pagri sambhal Jatta” in our freedom struggle, and sadly, also with the bangles and bodies of the women in his family.  Bangles are given to cowardly men to shame them.  The inference is “They’re weak and sissy”.

That is it, people.  Our bodies are not our own.  They are honor and pride to our fathers, brothers and husbands.  This is why murders happen like that unfortunate boy Nitish Katara who was involved with the daughter of a high profile political family. I refuse to call it honor killing.  Honor would be respecting the choices made by women, because women are people too.

Already Taliban in our neighboring countries is violently campaigning against women’s education and demolishing schools. They do not want people to think.  Knowledge has always been dangerous for fundamentalism.  The nightmare of any fundamentalist is people who think, and a woman who is independant, educated and empowered is a sign of emasculation.  If we allow this kind of thinking to continue, soon Muthalik and his tribe will beat up girls for going to school and college, and raise an outcry against working women.

I am so glad that the urban woman has found her voice.  But all is not well.  Renuka Choudhary has been served with a legal notice because she supports women.

I wonder where all this will take us and how it will end.