Font "Warp 1" was not found.The power of the cleavage
This is a post my parents would not approve of – but they are not in this plane now. This is also a post my sons wont approve of – but since I have a history of embarassing them, one more wont hurt them. I told ya fellas, not to read Ma’s blog. If you snoop, not my fault.
Women are getting thinner and thinner. Soon we will be surrounded by girls who closely resemble – no, not their parents, but sketch pens. I am a Punjaban who lives in Haryana and do like to see curvy women. I strongly suspect that Kid#1 got floored by my DIL’s natural assets scintillating conversation and intelligence. I do not understand this obsession for a size zero figure. Being slim is good, being fit is excellent, but having mosquito bites for a chest is tragic. Dont blame me, I have been watching Kareena Kapoor and other filmy types this weekend with my generously endowed BFF (best female friend), and we both agreed to the following
1. Men are necessary in one’s life
2. Getting men to behave like pussywhipped morons agree to you or jump when you want them to help you is tough.
3. The best option is to dazzle them with a cleavage show, and voila – problem solved.
When I was in college, I was terribly short of attendance, marriage and baby ensured that. So I did what any girl in my situation would do – whine. One of my best male friends was gay, and I am deeply indebted to him for my clothes sense and also for his ability to simplify the opposite sex for me. Oh he also taught me to be feminine and not the tomboy I was born as. He got tired of my whining and simply took me aside and tutored me on the womanly art of flirting. Sebastian, my love, what you taught me has worked for me time and again. It ranks way up there and is as useful as breathing.
Seb : Girl what you need is a padded push up bra and a low neck Tee
Me : Why
Seb : (with eye roll) You want attendance?
Me : Yeah, I need to pass otherwise my Dad will file case against hubby. My kid will be having a jailbird for a father.
Seb : Why do you Literature types love drama so much? Just do what I tell you. Duh!
Me : (doubtfully) Ohkay ….
Seb : What okay … lets go shopping
So we went shopping and picked up a orange Tshirt that my mother would’ve burnt and a black bra to wear under it. Then he taught me the subtle art of bending just enough to show a bit of cleavage and bra while talking. When he decided I had got the trick, we went to the attendance clerk, where I pleaded my case leaning over his desk, while Seb and two others added their words to my plea. I got my attendance and I learnt a valuable lesson.
I dont think Size zero babes can make such an impact.
Font "Warp 1" was not found.Comments
29 Responses to “The power of the cleavage”
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Design
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im not a tomboy, im not even near to size sero. but i have never manage to make an ‘impact’.
I had a good tutor Freya
Ha ha ha….this was really funny! Lol.
Cheers,
Quirky Indian
http://quirkyindian.wordpress.com
Funny but practical and oh so true Quirky
cant agree more! i belong to this league
Like Julia Roberts says in Erin Brockovich
What makes you think
you can just walk in there…
…and find what we need?
They’re called boobs, Ed.
I know – such a big asset they are
now this is strange -lunchtime we talked of KK’s size zero and I hav drafted something i am going to post day after tomorrow which discusses on whta to do to get attention- low voice and bend and all… is that coincidence or great minds r thinking alike
Absolutely Itchy – its the great minds … we connect in ether
Ahem! Well, uh! Ok
Yeah, and I dont hear you complaining, Ravin
LOL heh heh heh …very funny
Its solah anne sach
Hehehe should do a blog on the various kinds of “hooters” lol
lol!!!! i agree this is a great asset
and u know my sis and me were also talking abt the diminishing assets last week…
Its tragic – u lose wt and bang the darn things go small and southward
He he! There was a time when the size of the breasts was not only related to sexuality, but also to looking motherly!
But I guess now the boys will look at your eyes when they talk to you
LOLL I make a career out of embarassing them
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Awesome tactics (or should I say tactits?), Ritu!
MILF and tactits … hehehehe, I learnt two new words today
lol I fell from the chair laughing Ritu ..you shud get an award for being not only hot mama but a bold one too [:d]am sure those guys who read your blog will know where to see when they talk to u ..lol …
and you sure can make an impact ..that i can assure
never underestimate the power of cleavage ….
LOL yeah viva la hooters!!!!
one more thing ..am glad that am not part of the mosquito bites community …love my curves [:)[:p] and think Indian women look awesome with the fat in right places [:d]
yeah, viva la hooters!!! Our assets are ummm respectable, not of the mosquito bites or fried eggs categories, and stop short of the “Mamma mia” category
First kindly hand me sebastian’s no, am sure u know how dire a need i am in of that.second – assest or not,i got em so huge am going to the doc at 25 to slice em half….
You do that, girl – should look hot, not motherly
simply awsome man why cant i meet nice females like you .. simply marvelous………….
waiting for more posts
Sure Whitelight007
Mosquito bites? Ouch…that must hurt!
Heh! Yeah
Freak! Sooper Candid dear Punjaabin! If only your posts were a bit longer..
Wow!! The power of cleavages. They even get the most comments
huh… add one more to prove the power of cleavages… lol
excellent man… i am in office and laughing like anything until my colleagues are staring at me like i’ve got insane… lmao
m gonna read it aloud to them as well…
u r simply hilarious… ur kids must have had great time at home wid u… =)
http://muddleheaded.wordpress.com
They are good decent kids and keep shushing me up and pleading “Maaa Sudhar Jao please”
If they grow any more, I might overcome my hatred for plastic surgery and put them under the knife! There’s only so much.. er.. flesh that a 5-foot frame should have to support!
Aww Suki …
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[...] of my best male friends was gay and it did not bother me. He was the sweetest guy I knew. This friend of Kid#1 is a loving affectionate and polite boy. But when it came close to me and [...]
Is it the four by four hangover which prompted this blog.. hmmm i wonder. but then again funny very funny. works almost every time for the gullible Indian male am sure. Then again i wonder would it for some of us out there for whom a glimpse of the ankle or calf or neck might do the trick, but definately not if that happens to be huge. Guess very few of those types out there. By the way Sebastian.. TRAITOR.
LOLLL, no he was a very good friend. He was so empathetic and patient – pity he was gay, had no hetero tendencies. Hmm may be that was the reason
[...] menstruation, pregnancy, labour and menopause. Well I also think that they don’t have our power, experience the joys of nursing an infant, and frankly we look good with or without clothes. Also [...]
Hilariously funny Ritu…and I must share this with you…I was talking to a Punjaban male and he told me that he was a butt man…if the base wasnt what he liked he didnt bother to even look at the face.I of course politely enquired whether when he was introduced he turned them around…which he laughed off. But yes, I have seen men have all sorts of quirks…butts, boobs, legs,…one guy even tried telling me that he first noticed the smile…like hell….yeah.
ROFL, one told me it was the ankles that were his weakness – I laughed at his face. Who’s he trying to kid anyways
On a more serious note, when I train Hr Secondary teachers on communication skills,and do body language as part of it..I always make it a point to talk about the triangle…the mouth and the eyes as a focus point esp when male teachers are talking to adolescent girl students. When I was in school I had a teacher who looked only at the chest when he spoke to his female students…it was most disturbing.Those were the days when we just giggled about such things and pretended it didnt matter. Today I would have reported it as sexual harassment.
Cant bring up sexual harassment in the corporate world … its like committing professional hara-kiri. I deal with it my way – icy cold confrontation. They pretend I misunderstood, but keep their eyes fixed on my face next time LOL
Sakhi, these assets are doin’ well, economic slowdown or not!!!
..this piece is awesome! i am still a tomboy …sigh!i so need Sebastian in my life!!
Yeah, gay male friends are the best!
Nice post. I read the one on the whale and mermaid and both have connected in my mind. Having been cursed with the word ‘plump’ and ‘chubby’ for as long as I remember, both these posts were balm to my soul! If there is one thing which I’m proud of, its the twins. That was one thing which my uber slim friends couldn’t compete with. (two things actually. Other being my superlative grey cells!):)))
You know the uber slim women do not have to cultivate grey cells. They become so shallow most of the time …
Hilarious….
ROTFL
I was so ignorant about people taking such things(the assets)so seriously until recently I heard a close relative(female of course)talking about her would be DIL in a similar way. In this case MIL was more worried about the well endowed DIL..was wondering(loudly in a family gathering..)if DIL was way too much blessed with XL chest measurements..She was also heard ranting away that the couple looked odd when they stood together (the son is like a stick)
MIL:”God knows what made him fall in love with this girl.She looks too huge for him..sigh”
I badly wanted to give her an aside ” C’mon lady..your son is not blind..wink wink..he is wise”*wicked smile*
chao
Darn right! The woman is having a bad case of insecurity! The guy knows what he wants … smart fella