Monthly Archives: September 2008

If …………………… a tag

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I have been tagged by The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker aka IHM

The rules for the tag are:
RULE #1 People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.
RULE #2 Tag 6 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by continue this game by sending it to other people.

1. If your lover betrayed you what would your reaction be?

Sigh! Been there and done that with my ex.  I dont think it was the most mature thing to do, but I freaked.  I got bitter and vindictive.  Things got very violent – ending with me throwing him out of the house and our lives.  Then I gathered myself and got on with the business of living.  In retrospect, I think I could have been less public, and conducted myself with restraint and let the court handle stuff.  But I was young and angry.

2. If you have a dream come true, what would it be?

I would like to be a Bollywood actress’s pampered younger sister.  She would not be wearing the same dress twice, or have the time to shop and spend her money.  I would help her by doing all that. All the leading men, directors and producers will give me bhav and I won’t have to work at all.  What do you know, she’ll even get me a “suitable husband”.

3. If you could, whose butt would you like to kick?

Hehehehehe, dont tempt me.  All the MCPs of this world, and every one who makes and watches Saas Bahu soaps

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?

Quickly invest it and lock it up – otherwise I think I would go insane and squander it.

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?

No.  For love sexual chemistry is essential – best friends dont get sexual, they are pals.

6. Which is more blessed: loving someone or being loved by someone?

Being loved by some one

7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you love?

I won’t wait.  I probably would nip it in the bud if I thought I was going somewhere where there is no reciprocation.

8. If the person you secretly like is attached, what will you do?

Move on.  No sense in hanging around wasting time.  Very bad for the morale too.

9. If you could root for one social cause, what would it be?

Stronger laws against domestic violence and also making women’s education mandatory.

10. Do you lie?

Of course!  But not to myself.

11. Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?

Huhh??? I dunno where I’ll be 5 minutes hence!!!!

12. What’s your fear?

I fear being handicapped, or suffering a lengthy illness and being a burden on my children

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?

A thinker … and an idealist.  She is well informed and has a conscience that is so nicely reflected in her writings.

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?

Single and rich of course! 

15. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously who will you pick?

The one who I think would be there for me, in the long run.  The person who is simpler, warmer and more open.

16. Would you give all in a relationship?

I always do – that is how I am built I guess.  That is how I live my life.

17. Would you forgive and forget someone no matter how horrible a thing he has done?

Forgive – of course, cant keep holding on to the baggage.  But I can not forget.

18. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?

In a relationship which respects my space and my worth….. otherwise single is fine.

19.  Your all time favourite song. Only ONE. And why?

“You fill up my senses” by John Denver for the romantic words and its haunting melody.

20.  I TAG these 6 people because I’d like to know what their answers would be …

Manmeet

Devaki

The Quirky Indian

Gurpreet

Itchy

Pallavi

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Life begins at Fifty

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No, I am not fifty as yet …. but reaching that age in a few years….. four years actually.  I was reading this book by Deepak Chopra where he gave this interesting idea.  He thinks that life begins at fifty.  His reasoning is that one gets born, then spends the first 10 years getting toilet trained and learning how to walk and talk, Year 10 to 25 one gets educated and trained into a trade, Year 25 to 50 one spends in raising a family and then settling them.  One truly starts to live for oneself at 50.  Now I like this concept very much.  So it follows that

  • Year 50 to 60= First ten years of existence, where I can be truly and totally irresponsible
  • I can indulge in all sorts of indiscretions and be forgiven for them because I am an infant who doesnt know any better
  • I can throw tantrums and say NO to anything I dont want to do
  • If stopped, I can sit down in the middle of the super market and bawl my heart out for the 51″ screen plasma TV that I really want
  • Just because I want an Iphone, I can use my present Nokia N70 as a hammer and bash my horrible colleague in the head, and destroy this phone.  Then some person will console me with an Iphone.
  • I can refuse to take ex’s calls because “I dont wanna”
  • I can refuse to go to Kid#2′s PTI meets because “I dont wanna”
  • I can date a dude with 10 tattoos and 21 piercings because – well because my Papa would have shot any guy who looked like that and was found in the vicinity of his daughter
  • I can chuck my job because I fought with my boss
  • I can eat and drink unsuitable but delicious things to my heart’s content
  • I can try to emulate the contortions practised by all the blue flicks – at least once before I die

Ahhh, would it not be sheer adventure?  Now I wish I could convince my failing digestion, my aging heart and my stiffening joints that they are not yet born and will be born when I am 50 years old, after which they should be young and supple and support me in my adventures.

Jokes apart, reaching landmark 50 years is something that doesn’t scare me.  I wept on my 30th birthday, but am more comfortable with the idea of reaching 50.  Perhaps its because by this age one has seen it all – the ups, the downs, the games people play, the betrayals.  One has tasted both success and failure.  One knows the meaning of power, one has experienced the futility of ethics.  One has seen the joys of being a parent and the pains of being one.  One has tasted the bliss of sex, its whims, and also known what passion without love is.  Perversion of the human mind is not an unfamiliar area.  Grace and bliss have gladdened the heart, and grim realities and pain have strengthened it.  By 50 one has wept for loved ones who have died, and experienced joy at birth of a new soul.  One has been decieved, betrayed and knocked out.  One has also been loved and supported.  One has seen it all.  So I guess I will play the game of life full-heartedly like I do now.  Yes I will welcome life that begins when I am 50.

Mirror Mirror On the Wall

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I do have a bit of an ego trip that I’m trying to find professional help for. I have this thing where I like to look in the mirror and make these sexy faces at myself and say “I look good, huh?” I’m lucky that I dont have a spouse who would just roll his eyes, say “yes baby” and walk away.  That would really be a downer heh!  And then there is such a lot of laughter in the house, because all of us think we are so smart and witty that we laugh at our own jokes.  But the moment I see a camera trained on me … I freeze.  Honest to God I do.  I am sure that there is some wonderful mind doctor out there who will come out with a perfectly lovely explanation and even give a impressive and unpronouncable name for this condition.  Whatever ….

I prefer a simple explanation like this one …..

Oooh I would love – nah – not to be the lion, but to own the mirror!  I would drown in the reflection.  Bliss!

This is me, clicked by DIL when I wasn’t aware – but would love to have been the Babi babe walking out of the water

Or at least the hard headed management types that I wish I was

But these are the people who make my life worth it :-

Kid#1 and his lady

Kid#1 and his lady

and the last but not the least …. my baby – though he would hate being called that

Adult kids and the Art of War

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Kid#2 can’t wait to taste freedom.  I am not an interfering parent – am at work the whole day so have given it up – but he would love to be out there in the world and keeps pointing out – charmingly – that he has one foot out of the door.  He has four or five years to freedom he gleefully told me.

I dont take his eagerness personally, though I admit I sometimes get the urge to hasten the process by kicking his charming butt out of the door – sometimes ….., but not so long ago I did the same.  I thought my only route to freedom lay in getting married – and I did that at a very young age.  And the apple doesnt fall far from the tree does it?

I dreamt of no curfews, being able to play my kind of music, hobnob with friends till late in the night, sleep when I wanted to, wake up late.  But marriage was a poor trade, with restrictive in-laws and duties towards them, and then babies.  I’ll admit that its a source of amusement.  I am waiting eagerly for the two of them to start their own households.  They will have to cook their own dinners, fridges wont magically re-stock themselves, phones will go dead if bills aren’t paid and electricity costs a lot.  It will be amusing to see how they cope with all this and reality does bite the arse  :)

Yeah, kids, don’t be in a hurry to leave the motherly abode even though you have to deal with a batty middle aged mother on a daily basis, freedom isn’t as hot as you think it is.  On my part – I look forward to your tryst with adulthood and independence.  It can be humbling and I would love to see you cope :D

Of course I won’t hurry it … but I understand.  Enjoy whatever remains of your childhood while you can.  It is all a part of life, and soon I will be living alone wondering why you don’t call or visit any more.

After all the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

****************************************************************************

Conversation when Kid#1 was 17 years old

Kid#1  Mom, I want a bike too

Me : What do you need a bike for?

Kid#1  To go to school

Me : School is five minutes away, on foot.  You can see it from home!

Kid#1 (At his whiney best) Every one in my class has one.  I’m the only one who doesnt

Me : What about your cycle

Kid#1 : Its sooo embarassing

I looked at him and had visions of me going through the same conversation with my parents – except that it was to get my ears pierced ( 4 holes per ear )  and my father insisting that if God wanted women to have pierced ears, baby girls would have been sent down with pierced ears.   WIERD.  So I spoke the same words my Father did years ago :

Me : So if every one jumped into the river, you would too.  I thought I raised you to be an independent thinker.

Kid#1 : See with a bike, I could run errands for you, get milk, drop Kid#2 to his tuition.  Life would get easier for you too.  You get so tired running around …..

Not bad.  At least he could swing the ball, even though he was about to be hit for a six.  I admired his effort.  But – Mom isn’t that old or dumb

Me : You mean that you can go wander all over town, with or without Kid#2, and get back home just when I return from work.  No way.  Besides the Govt. gives you a licence when you are 18.  Once you get a licence we can talk about it. 

So we settled for a licence when he reaches 18 years …. vehicle thereafter.  And I started saving and keeping a vigilant eye on him because I knew he wouldn’t wait and would drive the darn two wheelers belonging to his friends.  After all, the apple doesnt fall far from the tree.

I had a similar conversation with Kid#2 when he was sixteen and experienced a strong sense of de ja vu ….

The Mommy Curse… Blessing?

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You know what the ultimate threat/wish of a mother is?  The one that comes spontaneously when the kids do not kneel on the floor and rub their nose in the ground pay proper and adequate respect to her as a parental authority?  Well she draws herself to her full height (so what if she is short) and hisses “May you have children just like you”.  My Mom cursed , Blessed me with those very words, and guess what, yeah, I am doing just the same.

It was February and I was taking special care of my appearance.  Since I was skinny (sigh, wish I still was) I decided to wear a full length parrot green gown with lots of frills and flounces, rolled up socks in my bra, lipstick on my mouth (dark red) a bit on my cheek (YES dark red) green eyeliner and high heels I could barely balance on.  It was my very first adult party, the school farewell.  The family thought I looked something like this, but mercifully did not tell me

But I thought I looked like this

Yes in my eyes I was hot and thought I would be the most popular person in the party.  Sadly this is India and us girls were all huddled on one side of the room trying our best to be oblivious of the boys eyeing us warily from their side of the room.  And our Phys Ed teacher had rotten taste in music and kept playing Donny Osmond and Rishi-Neetu songs.  Naturally no one wanted to dance to that  even if we were asked to dance.  One of our teachers came and told us girls that we should dance and we did … with each other.  Our high heels came off and we danced barefoot to Ek Main aur Ek Tu.  Kid#1 smartly did not go for his farewell party.  Kid#2 did, clad in brand new Levi jeans, lovely Nike shoes and a psychedelic shirt which never got worn again.  He came back at 8 pm with a disgusted expression and insisted that we go out and party.  I nearly said “But you already came back from one”.  Luckily I did not and saved my reputation for that day.  No, I never asked him what went wrong.  I suspect his metallic smile (braces) might have a lot to do with it.

I could hear my Ma say “May you have kids just like you”

Well you cant keep my kids down any more that you could supress me.  We land on our feet.  We are survivors.  Its Kid#2′s Fresher’s Meet today and since I had his School farewell in mind, I was full of concern and started quizzing him about the programme, the music, the dancing he might have to do (he doesnt like to dance) and he turns and quashes me down with a very patronising and worldly smile

“Ma, we are grown up okay.  We will sit and drink, and if something clicks ….” and gave a very man of the world shrug.

Hello? He is eighteen years old, in his first year. 

And I hear my Ma saying “May you have kids just like you”

Well, okay, I’ll pass it forward … My darling son, May you have kids just like you

 

The Mommy Curse … Blessing?

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You know what the ultimate threat/wish of a mother is?  The one that comes spontaneously when the kids do not kneel on the floor and rub their nose in the ground pay proper and adequate respect to her as a parental authority?  Well she draws herself to her full height (so what if she is short) and hisses “May you have children just like you”.  My Mom cursed , Blessed me with those very words, and guess what, yeah, I am doing just the same.

It was February and I was taking special care of my appearance.  Since I was skinny (sigh, wish I still was) I decided to wear a full length parrot green gown with lots of frills and flounces, rolled up socks in my bra, lipstick on my mouth (dark red) a bit on my cheek (YES dark red) green eyeliner and high heels I could barely balance on.  It was my very first adult party, the school farewell.  The family thought I looked something like this, but mercifully did not tell me

But I thought I looked like this

Yes in my eyes I was hot and thought I would be the most popular person in the party.  Sadly this is India and us girls were all huddled on one side of the room trying our best to be oblivious of the boys eyeing us warily from their side of the room.  And our Phys Ed teacher had rotten taste in music and kept playing Donny Osmond and Rishi-Neetu songs.  Naturally no one wanted to dance to that  even if we were asked to dance.  One of our teachers came and told us girls that we should dance and we did … with each other.  Our high heels came off and we danced barefoot to Ek Main aur Ek Tu.  Kid#1 smartly did not go for his farewell party.  Kid#2 did, clad in brand new Levi jeans, lovely Nike shoes and a psychedelic shirt which never got worn again.  He came back at 8 pm with a disgusted expression and insisted that we go out and party.  I nearly said “But you already came back from one”.  Luckily I did not and saved my reputation for that day.  No, I never asked him what went wrong.  I suspect his metallic smile (braces) might have a lot to do with it.

I could hear my Ma say “May you have kids just like you”

Well you cant keep my kids down any more that you could supress me.  We land on our feet.  We are survivors.  Its Kid#2′s Fresher’s Meet today and since I had his School farewell in mind, I was full of concern and started quizzing him about the programme, the music, the dancing he might have to do (he doesnt like to dance) and he turns and quashes me down with a very patronising and worldly smile

“Ma, we are grown up okay.  We will sit and drink, and if something clicks ….” and gave a very man of the world shrug.

Hello? He is eighteen years old, in his first year. 

And I hear my Ma saying “May you have kids just like you”

Well, okay, I’ll pass it forward … My darling son, May you have kids just like you

 

Shine On You Crazy Diamond

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Richard Wright is dead – the man on the piano, who contributed so much to my favorite band Pink Floyd, the guy whose key board expertise made the music of The Wall and The Dark Side of the Moon so rich died after suffering from cancer.

The Pink Floyd was one band that spoke mostly through its music and none of the members courted publicity.  So one did not know much about them.  But thank you, lovely people, your music enriched us.

Words from  “The Great Gig in the Sky”

“And I am not frightened of dying, any time will do, I
don’t mind. Why should I be frightened of dying?
There’s no reason for it, you’ve gotta go sometime.”

“If you can hear this whispering you are dying.”

“I never said I was frightened of dying.”

Celebrity Worship is Healthy

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I was teased mercilessly by my younger brother and the entire tribe – yes – tribe of cousins for being an unabashed fan of Paul McCartney but one look at his eyes and I would simply drool – and this was at the mature age of eleven years old.  This was swiftly followed by David Niven and Sean Connery.  But then I set my eyes on Amitabh Bachchan and I was lost.  I drooled so much that I could have drowned in the puddle I created, much to the amusement of my entire clan.  Now I have discovered that it is normal and healthy.  Thank you Time, thank you very much.  You just dont know how much this means to me.  It follows that my teenage rituals like

  • Talking for hours to Sean’s picture was normal
  • Watching each and every Amitabh movie at least thrice was healthy
  • Memorising every dialogue of the said movies was natural
  • Giving every photo of Rekha a beard and moustaches was good therapy
  • Modelling my wardrobe after Joan Baez was excellent fashion sense
  • My fondness for Abhishek Bachchan not because of his entertaining skills but since he is my old crush’s son is sane and understandable

I am not too sure that I agree with this ….., but, hey if someone thinks that I am healthy and sane, who am I to argue with that?
:D

New Delhi – City under siege

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It happens every time.  We face something like the bomb blasts on Saturday, freak out for a while and then, once we are sure the crisis has passed, we go on with our lives.  There are families to feed, money to be earned, lives to be lived.  I am sure this is what people did in wars.  For the soldiers it was their job to kill and be killed, for the ordinary people, the smartest thing to do was to avoid battle fields and carry one with their lives.  The painful reality about today’s world is that there is no clear battlefield and the people who die in these sordid wars for religion are civillians who never signed for it.  Its painful and base.  One big reason to hate organised religion – they kill people in the name of God.

I was in Delhi yesterday – had to meet a few friends.  It was disturbing to drive through empty roads, police jeeps criss crossing the city.  I felt like I had wandered into a war zone.  I also felt scared … though my friend kept assuring me that the crisis was over.  I have lived in disturbed areas like Manipur and Nagaland.  I know what it is like to be resented because we were educated and our parents had the much coveted Government jobs – but that was economics.  They were poor and we had (in their view) all the comfort.  That I can understand, though I dont like their way of showing it – by trying to burn our home or stoning our roof in the middle of the night.  But killing innocent people shopping in a market place just because you want to make a name for yourself by proudly claiming that you belong to some XYZ organisation?  How sick is that?  Is this something to be proud of?  And if this is so, then come out in the open and fight and die for your twisted interpretation of your religion.  Dont be cowardly.

Roop and Devaki have also reacted to this.  The point is – where will this all end?  Why can we not make it illegal for politicians to play the caste/religion/state card.  And as Roop has said – we have to stop persecuting people based on nothing but their religion

LHC and organised religion

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There is a heated debate going on every where about LHC.  On Day one of the experiment, doomsday experts freaked out and predicted that the world is going to end, fence sitters adopted a wait and see approach and organised religions went into a tizzy.  I am against organised religion and rituals.  I dont like to have people butting in and trying to teach me how to talk to my God.  Besides, I am not entirely sure that God doesnt have his/her own agenda, and we dont feature to high on his To Do list.  This belief settled in when I was in Class III and had to take a Geography test.  There were some fill-in-the blanks to do, and the question was:

Nile flows through _________

and Chump that I am, I filled in Italy.  I was a big fan of the Roman Empire and Pizza I guess.  Well I prayed, was a good girl and even helped my mother in the house.  But no amount of bending over backwards got that answer to change.  My mother gave me hell when the test papers got marked and had to be signed.  Was I angry or what?  Now in retrospect, I feel that God has plenty of fish to fry and one little girl’s butt ranks way down on the heavenly agenda.

If the LHC proves succesful, I wonder if religions of this world will experience a whole lot of debunking?  My fear is that it won’t.  Religion will just transform, backpedal and adjust itself to the new situation.  The sad truth is that religion never dies, much like any other virus.   We will still have bigots who will be instrumental in causing a lot of death and misery, all in the name of God