For Dony, on Raksha Bandhan
He was exactly 361 days younger than me. He was the apple of my mother’s eye. He was the SON in our typically Punjabi family, the heir, the prince. He was the person on whom I practiced my skills of bossing over hapless males. When we were little kids, he was the one who would follow me around, and get blamed for most of the breakages in the house. I being a girl would not be suspected. He would pull the dog’s tail, but would also share his meal with the pet. He would sit for long hours on the steps of our home, telling fantastically wild tales to the dog, and the dog would look at him adoringly and swallow each one of them hook line and sinker. He also blinded my dolls and pulled out their eyelashes. Oh no, I did not mind it, I hated dolls and loved books. Once he threw my Enid Blyton into the pond, and I knocked him over and sat on him beating him up.
When we grew up, he hated all the boys who would befriend me, and would mimic them mercilessly. He grew stronger and larger, and it became harder to beat the hell out of him. He was the only one in my family who could carry a tune. He had an awesome sense of humour and a ready answer for anything. He was also someone who attracted trouble and accidents. That never seemed to quench his spirit. When he met with an accident and we weren’t sure that his eye would be okay, he put a patch over the eye, picked up a bottle of Old Monk and limped on his fractured foot and said he was the Pirate from Treasure Island. He would encourage us to make jokes about his being accident prone. He was my very handsome younger brother.
When he was 23 years old, the joke turned sour. That accident was his last one. They brought his body back, lifeless. My elder son kept nudging him and asking him to wake up. It was the first time I was faced with death, and was devastated. There would be more in the coming years – but this was the first, and it was something I took personally. I was angry with Death and with God. It took me a long time to recover. I think my mother never did. My father went from being a participant in the game of life to a spectator.
I have never talked about this, never written about it … but there is something about blogging – it makes one open up. So this Raksha Bandhan, I hope and pray for you, my sweet younger brother because I am sure that you are reincarnated somewhere. Where-ever you are – may you have the happy and long life that you were cheated of in the time you lived with us.
Currently have 16 Comments
I am sure he is around, Ritu.
Well written straight from the heart ...made my eyes moist.
My heart goes out to you, as I share your loss
Thanks CP
Ritu, i dunno what to say.. i just came here.... it started so well ..... as CP says, he's been with you...he will be with you smiling your smiles, letting your tears go off and cheering you whenever required...
It has happened to me... I lost my elder sis when she was 19 and I was 14 then... it was a snake bite... aftre that we still live in te same house but have not seen a snake till date. I still feel her around me. Whenever am happy, lonely, sad, depressed or afraid, or when I miss her, I go upstairs see the brightest of star and speak to it from my heart.
Try this.
Thanks a lot Uma. Mostly I carry on, its on certain days that the loss is too much
Oh Ritu!...my eyes are still moist as I write this...
He is with you, always.....
Thanks Rashmi, I wish sometimes .....ah well !!!
I hope a hug helps... here is a virtual one.
Thank you and hug you back
Knowing Ritu I wdn't dare to write anything senti here. But knowing a MALE Ritu would have bin intersting .. wat say u all?
He was nice, Jay, and he died so young
It's the way of the universe Ritu...you of all people should know that. Lovely.
Yes and I am normally not so mushy - but like I said, blogging makes you open up. Thanks
Hugs
Such a touching post Ritu. Yes, blogging does make you open up.
hey... have faith and courage... he is up there somewhere reading this and he wants u to be happy always i am sure... lots of hugs to u.... take care and i agree with most people my eyes are moist too... and I am glad that u could write abt it here... thats what blogs are supposed to do isnt it
Loved the beautiful simplicity of this.
While nothing can compensate for the loss, at least you have wonderful memories of your times together.
Quirky Indian
Thank you all for the love and affection. I am deeply touched.
This was so heartbreaking that I couldn't bring myself to comment until now. The loss of one so young is just so upsetting......
Yes. Such bereavement derails the family left behind too
Ritu....my heart goes out to you...
death...its the only conclusion of a great passion...the only reality. it ends a life,but not a reationship...and so they who part,live on.
i've gone thru the trauma of loss to death...so many times. ..nd yet it hurts everytime i read someone else's loss too. u've written so well,i cudnt stop the tears...
he's def there somewhere..nd like u,i pray for him
Thank you Suja. So have I - both parents, so many cousins ....., it hurts like hell
From your heart. Yes something about blogging that makes one open up.